


( you're my universe ) shine bright for me

by lucitae



Category: NU'EST
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, a lot of other side ships, ft aron’s gang of friends, side jbaek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2020-12-09 16:48:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 38,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20998109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lucitae/pseuds/lucitae
Summary: There are many things Minhyun didn't account for when he planned out his next four years in college.Namely: frat parties, the theater department, and Aron.





	1. Year 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TomorrowTakesForever](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomorrowTakesForever/gifts).

> dear recipient, i am so sorry for what a mess this is and how it barely even fits into any of your requests. even more sorry that i allowed it to grow into a monster and despite my best efforts, unable to finish it in time. you have my word that it’ll get done ( too planned out for me to quit ) but i do hope you find it in yourself to forgive me for the incompleteness. despite my failure, i hope your holidays are happy ones.
> 
> title taken from n.flying's rooftop.
> 
> i'm revealing way too much about my college life. also some of the stuff are not accurate timeline wise but who has time for details, there's a romance to develop. aron & friends has been aged down for fic purposes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is heavily based on the american undergrad/college system of things so yay greek life and college messes.
> 
> oh and uh "rush" refers to the whole process of trying to join greek life (fraternity or sorority). a quick [guidebook](https://www.iup.edu/greeklife/greek-lingo/) to some other possibly not expanded on and explained terms in this fic.

“Please,” Dongho begs, hands clasped together. He looks ready to sink to his knees to drive the point home and Minhyun is almost tempted to keep him hanging to witness it. “I need moral support.”

“What’s in it for me?” Minhyun asks, folding his arms and crossing his legs for more emphasis.

Dongho chews on his lower lip in contemplation.

“Human contact? Connections?” Dongho tries. “My eternal friendship.”

Minhyun snickers. “_Please_. That's already a given. Try again.”

There’s a small whine. The hands start to rub against each other in a desperate plea like all those dramas his mother binges.

Clearly, it doesn’t work so Dongho drops it. His eyes never cease their imploring though.

“Just ‘cause you have no interest in pursuing a love life doesn’t mean you have to sabotage mine,” Dongho pouts.

“Oh,” that’s when the look in Minhyun’s eyes shift, almost a little too menacingly. “So that’s what this is about? A boy?”

Dongho refuses to meet his gaze and clears his throat. Minhyun wonders when Dongho had time to develop a budding crush between their endless work load ( trimester systems are a bitch ) and choir duties ( they’ve probably lived in the choir practice room more than they’ve spent time in their shared dorm room ).

“What happened to solidarity?” Minhyun continues, “gay and single?”

The blessing of college is finding your people. More freedom, less prejudice, less shitty people making your life hell because of their internalized issues. Minhyun just didn’t expect it to land in his lap in the form of a roommate school assigned by music taste. At least it saves him from searching around and joining clubs ( and all the related mindless chit chat ).

“Tortured, single, misunderstood, genius artist is not a character trait, Minhyun. Definitely not the life to aim for,” Dongho retorts.

Minhyun scoffs. Then looks over at Dongho’s not messy but not quite neat side of the room.

“Fine,” Minhyun agrees, “but if I’m going to be sexiled, then I want my goddamn apartment spotless.”

Dongho’s cheeks color as if about to protest Minhyun’s comment before deciding against it. He sticks his hand out. “Agreed.”

They shake on it and Dongho’s face positively glows.

Minhyun was never interested in Greek life. Even less in a knock off version. What the hell is a service fraternity anyway?

_“It’s a fraternity where they do service,” Dongho had explained._

_“So like a volunteering club but you have to pay to enter?”_

_Dongho falls silent. Minhyun narrows his eyes._

_“You don’t know what it actually is, do you?”_

_Minhyun doesn’t need to see Dongho’s sheepish nod to know he’s right._

Apparently, judging from the spiel by the very chirpy recruitment _chair_. ( Weird terms do not sell it to Minhyun but some people like the feeling of exclusivity, he supposes. ) APO ( Minhyun had long forgotten what the letters even stand for, nor does he care ) is “a national co-Ed service fraternity organized to provide community service, leadership development, and social opportunities for college students.”

“So we pay to hang out with people,” Minhyun mutters under his breath and Dongho whacks him for it. Minhyun scowls as he rubs the spot. Dongho really needs to learn to control his strength. One day he might even be charged for murder: strangling someone when they were just fooling around with choke holds.

“You’re just supporting me. I’m not forcing you to join,” Dongho hisses as the girl rattles on about how tonight will operate:

Recruitment runs for three nights. Each night has a different theme that correlates to their motto: Be a leader, be a friend, be of service. You don’t have to show up to all nights to join ( Dongho is which means Minhyun will have to ). Just show up on Sunday evening to be initiated as some probationary member. Blah blah blah. Tonight is a speed date event to get to know both the members and organization blah blah blah.

Minhyun nudges Dongho with his elbow, trying to needle more information about his crush.

So far he’s learnt that:

  * They were part of the same orientation group but they only exchanged words once or twice during that time.
  * The crush works at the only café on campus ( downsides of private liberal arts colleges in the smack middle of nowhere. _This environment is so good for studying_, his mother had gushed. Minhyun only wanted to get away from home. And the buildings had that east coast vibe he was used to. )

“You know how I am when I get up in the morning,” Dongho had said. Minhyun doesn’t need prompting because just this morning it had been a pain in the ass to wake Dongho up in time for their 8am. Tousled hair, stubble growing out of control, and a face so laden with sleep Minhyun wasn’t sure if Dongho was awake or sleep walking. “And I could swipe in to the cafeteria but trying to fill my thermos without being seen is a challenge and coffee is so much better at Darwin’s.”

“So I was there, looking nothing like my usual self,” Dongho continues animatedly, “hoodie pulled over my head, haven’t even gotten around to shaving yet, the world a blur. I didn’t even recognize who was ringing me up at the cashier until he said_ good morning Dongho_.”

“And there he is, smiling, looking like god had blessed him, eyes sparkling. I could only stammer out a hi in return because honestly I didn’t think he would remember my name and—” Dongho gushes, only remembering to catch his breath now. “And then I fumbled with my thermos a bit and our fingers even brushed,” Dongho sighs almost dreamily. Minhyun chalks it up to being a good friend/roommate that he doesn’t snap Dongho out of it.

“But then after that it just became morning routine,” Dongho explains.

“So you shaving after that first week of college unkemptness was because of him? For a whole semester?” Minhyun exhales in awe. 

“No...” Dongho starts almost as a whine before coloring. “Yes...” almost inaudible this time.

“Anyway,” Dongho clears his throat, “so I get coffee from there every morning. It’s a coincidence it just happens to be his shift.” Minhyun answers with a _sure_ under his breath as a supportive best friend does. “And coffee isn’t enough sustenance for two lectures in a row so I also buy bread there. One day, I forgot to check the balance on my card and could only get coffee. But guess what?” Dongho says with a lilt in his voice.

“What?” Minhyun echoes to humor him.

“After he made the coffee and handed it to me, he also handed me the bread. And obviously I sputtered and told him that I didn’t order it, thinking he had grabbed it out of habit.” Dongho’s joy is almost palpable. His eyes are bright and his smile is so wide it’s endearing. “Then he said to me_ I know. It’s on the house_. And I just—” Dongho covers his face with his hands and squeals. It’s almost cute how hard Dongho is crushing. “Usually it’s a line people say followed by a very sleazy wink but he said it with so much sincerity and his signature smile I just—” Dongho sighs gently.

Which brings us back to the present: a day after this talk of theirs.

Minhyun nods his head in the direction of the fraternity members. “So which one is Jonghyun?”

“Not so loud,” Dongho hisses as he returns the elbow nudge. Minhyun grimaces. “The one in the oversized pink sweater with a white turtle neck underneath.”

Minhyun immediately zeroes in on Dongho’s crush and does a head to toe sweep. Seems decent. But no one ever truly knows.

He manages to grab the seat across from Jonghyun when the recruitment chair signals a start. Jonghyun looks surprised but his expression quickly melts into a welcoming smile. Minhyun thinks he can sort of understand why Dongho’s crush has only blossomed over the months. He seems nice enough but it’s hard to tell in the span of two minutes when their conversation consists of bare introductions and why Jonghyun decided on joining.

What’s surprising is how soft Jonghyun’s hands are. Clearly well lotioned unlike his own. How does Dongho not combust? ( He probably does, Minhyun snickers internally. )

Jonghyun offers a handshake at both the beginning and end of their two minute encounter. Minhyun moves on.

Some conversations are mind numbingly boring. Name, year, major. Rinse and repeat. Minhyun wonders if the organization was trying to boast their diversity. But most conversations are so shallow, Minhyun has made up his mind to not join.

That is, until he’s surprised by a firm handshake by hands almost as coarse as his own. The owner of it smiles. His entire demeanor sets Minhyun at ease and surprises him with a question not related at all to the event they are attending: what is your favorite movie?

He’s polite, charming, makes up in his lack of height with the way he carries himself with what Minhyun can only describe as charisma. A black stud in each ear and knowledgeable in comic book based movies. Every fiber of Minhyun’s body screams _cool _and he’s almost sad when the alarm sounds and instructs them to move on. They were just in the midst of a conversation about Iron Man and how Robert Downey Jr turned his career around.

“Hopefully, I’ll see you around,” Aron says with a wave of his hand. Minhyun knows it’s just recruitment talk but his heart betrays him by tripping. He plays it cool anyway. Or tries to with a succinct “yeah” but almost knocks over his chair trying to move to the next person. Aron is polite enough to snuffle his chuckle.

“So?” Dongho asks, face glowing because his last speed date partner ended with his crush, nudging Minhyun’s shoulder. “It wasn’t so bad was it?”

Minhyun groans, refusing to give Dongho the satisfaction. But when he does show up tomorrow it isn’t fully because of Dongho’s request.

“I joined because I knew I would miss doing community service,” Aron explains as he draws a sketch of a dog into a folded piece of paper. “It started because I was doing it for credit and extracurricular back home but it’s a fun way to spend the weekend. Especially with your friends.” The girl who asked him giggles. “I particularly enjoyed volunteering at the animal shelter and as an after school tutor for elementary kids.” The one next to her sighs fondly. Minhyun scribbles the basic roses are red poem into the folded paper before him. Apparently, tonight’s theme is service. Everyone is making Valentine’s Day cards to sell for a dollar each. All proceeds go towards Blessing in a Backpack. Which is “where we pack meals for kids enrolled in the school lunch program. Some of these kids, their only meal of the day is that lunch, which means they go hungry during the weekend,” Aron explains, “the budget for the weekend bag of food comes from fundraisers like these.”

Minhyun tosses another completed card into the pile. The girl next to him draws a pretty fern on the cover. Minhyun tries again but it looks like a bunch of vines.

“APO is more than that,” Aron continues explaining. Damn, everyone sounds brainwashed and in love with the organization. Next thing you know is someone at their wedding announcing how they met their best man through this organization. “About twice a year there are these conferences you can attend where workshops are held. I joined my first semester here because why not? It seemed like a good first step into Greek life while having volunteering opportunities from all across the board. The works shops range from local community service activities to speakers who coach you on how to budget for organizations. Practical things like that. But the best part is the LEADS course. Each letter stands for something but in one of them it was conflict resolution training and it got me elected for my position in SigChi.”

His crowd _oohs_ and _aahs_ and drills him for more questions. It all sounds so pretentious.

Minhyun throws his finished card into the growing mountain, picks up another blank piece, and sketches a smiling fox.

“Oh that’s really cute.”

Minhyun doesn’t have to look up to know who is speaking to him. He does anyway.

It’s almost unfair how attractive some people are.

“Thanks,” Minhyun chokes out.

Aron’s smile doesn’t falter. His brows do furrow as if he’s trying to place his finger on something. “We met yesterday didn’t we?”

“We spoke about films and Iron Man. You’re Min—”

“Hyun,” Minhyun finishes and dislikes how remembering half of his name was enough for his heart to sing.

“Right,” Aron nods, “Minhyun. I’m glad you came back.”

He says it like he means it. 

Minhyun forgets how to breathe for a moment.

It’s much nicer than yesterday. An uninterrupted flow of conversation ( spare the few that kept trying to flirt with Aron ) that takes a turn from superheroes in journalism related fields to Minhyun ending the night with a list of classic films he should watch to broaden his horizons.

Who is really at fault when Minhyun starts to look forward to tomorrow night’s event?

The last night is “friendship” which apparently means an organization of college kids crowding some freshman dorm to play the most random set of games — or the _olympics_. 

“Usually we play between families but since we have potential members here, we’ll just assign randomly,” the recruitment chair says with an overenthusiastic tone.

“The whole family thing is weird,” Minhyun complains to Dongho, hoping no one can overhear them. Should be pretty safe considered how both of them are sticking close to the wall.

“Is it?” Dongho counters, “I think it’s kind of fun.”

Minhyun rolls his eyes at him. “Why not just call it mentor and mentee like what it actually is. All this big/little stuff.” His tone turns more sinister as he whispers: “I hear SNUs take it so seriously they still use the terms father and son.” He shivers in disgust to prove his point.

“It’s nice,” Dongho tries again, “family trees, found families.”

“It’s culty,” Minhyun concludes.

Dongho just shrugs and quickly moves to join his team after giving Minhyun an understanding pat on the back.

“Oh, Minhyun,” Aron says with a wave when he walks towards Minhyun, joining the corner where Minhyun’s team for the night has gathered. Minhyun hopes his smile isn’t too awkward. It’s not like he spent the last minute trailing Aron with his eyes ever since he walked through the door ten minutes late. “If you’re here for all three nights I’m hoping this means you’re considering on joining us?” there’s a lightness to the tone.

This and yesterday’s conversation propels Minhyun to fold his arms across his chest and say cryptically: “Maybe. What do I get from it?”

The laugh that rings out from Aron is worth it. Minhyun makes a mental note about reproducing it.

“Friendship, leadership, and service?” Aron tries.

Minhyun narrows his eyes and then whispers scandalously: “are you all robots? I feel like everyone is programmed to say this.”

It elicits another laugh from Aron. Aron then lowers his voice and makes the most ridiculous robotic hand motions: “No comment.”

Minhyun can’t help it when he throws his head back and laughs.

“Maybe,” he decides in the end, “if our team wins this game.” He throws in a smirk ( and has no idea if he pulls it off or not ).

The night turns a bit rambunctious. Probably because half of the members pre-gamed prior to coming. It’s a Friday night after all. They played a wildly dangerous round of pin the tail where one upperclassman purposefully walked in the opposite direction of the target and towards the crowd. Even Aron seems unhinged. Immediately stealing a chair for the 3 round get this food item into your mouth without the help of your hands challenge. He defeated his opponent in two rounds: first with a cookie, then with a gummy worm. A miracle really. But it is probably attributed to Aron’s incredible use of his facial muscles and the ability to get the gummy worm close enough where his tongue could pull it into his mouth. Minhyun feels thirsty from all the cheering he does.

Minhyun also wins by re-stacking 50 cups the fastest. It’s the adrenaline coursing through his veins that has him responding to Aron’s hands in the air with loud enthusiastic claps of his own ( that turn into clasps followed by a little bit of jumping that Aron thankfully reciprocates ).

The night ends faster than Minhyun would have liked. All the potentials stay behind and are given a blank sheet of paper.

“List three individuals you would like to be your Big.”

“It’s happening,” Dongho says way too excitedly before noticing how Minhyun was ready to scrawl a name on his sheet. “Wait a second...” he says, eyes widening ridiculously, “are you joining?”

“I still have up till the day I have to pay to decide. Also getting a _mentor_ doesn’t sound too bad.” He then quickly tries to shift the focus away from yourself: “are you going to put Jonghyun down?”

“Ew” Dongho sounds, “I can’t date my Big. I am joining to get to know him better, not start an incestuous relationship.”

“You are way too into this whole family tree thing,” Minhyun remarks before putting Aron’s name down. In his defense, Aron is a really cool guy and a year older. Minhyun just wants to get to know a cool dude better.

Aron reads the email about Littles and quickly scans the list of names. There are a few familiar ones. Oh and the dude obsessed with giant transforming car robots.

Nah.

He scrolls until he sees Joel’s name on the list, just to make sure he’s still planning on joining, and replies to the email. Joel would kill him if he said no. Besides, it is so much easier being a Big for a bro than actually taking some youngster under his wing.

Minhyun pulls at his clip on bow tie and wonders when it will stop getting so culty. Everyone is dressed formally for initiation, whatever that means. He wonders who amongst them had to scramble to the stores for something to wear. He’s just glad that music majors are always prepared. Dongho fiddles with his tie.

It’s so awkward.

They aren’t allowed to talk. Just standing there in a single filed line that the recruitment chair had arranged in alphabetical order before leaving to go to the other room and probably doing the same. The set up is taking forever and Minhyun is growing tired. Maybe this is a bad idea. What was he thinking?

The recruitment chair returns, index finger still pressed to her lips and instructs them to put their hands on the shoulders of the person in front of them and close their eyes. It’s a never ending nightmare, Minhyun thinks.

It only gets worse. He blindly follows the person in front of him. Then someone gently tells him to let go. Another pair of hands grab him from behind and gently ease him into position. He opens his eyes to a very dark room and tries to look behind him when the recruitment chair hisses don’t look.

What the fuck is going on.

Someone begins to read. Minhyun can only assume it is the history and founding of the organization. What did he even sign up for? And how is no one else creeped by this? Or maybe he just can’t see anyone else’s equally terrified face because the room is dark and there’s only one candle in the center and some flashlights. After each paragraph or section ( honestly Minhyun can’t tell this is taking an eternity ) someone lights a candle. Well more of a bring the candle to the middle candle and light the unlit one. Either way the room slowly gets a bit less dark. Finally, a flood of lights and “turn around to meet your Big!”

Minhyun spins around. It is not Aron.

It is that breathtakingly beautiful dude he met on the first night with incredibly lotioned hands. Minhyun decides not to be rude and thus pulls his “Big” in for a hug to hide his disappointment.

He scans the room. Aron is embracing some other dude Minhyun swears he has not seen on any of the recruitment nights.

His Big, Minki, releases him from the hug to quickly pin an upside down radioactive hazard pin to his lapel. It’s corny with the A, P, and O on each wedge.

The night gets worse because after the reveal there’s another speech about duties the Big holds and then joining hands and singing a song about the organization while swaying side to side like some campfire song. Minhyun dies inside. The whole boy scouts thing suddenly makes sense. He gave it a go when he was young and decided no.

He’s about to go home and sulk when the recruitment chair announces that afterwards is the general meeting and Aron adds that after the meeting it’ll be membership hours ( whatever that means ) at Darwin’s. That and Minki’s “great! We can use that time to set up a meeting” convinces Minhyun to stay for a bit.

The meeting, like most meetings, isn’t very exciting. General information and orders of business. Upcoming volunteering opportunities. Reports from each “chair” which includes a round of applause for the recruitment chair. And other things like how he now has to attend training sessions before being fully inducted as a member, meet with his Big once a week, and fulfill a certain number of hours.

Minhyun really didn’t sign up for this. He wants to tell Minki before it’s too late but Minki seems so enthusiastic about having a Little, it’s hard to bring it up. Especially considering how Minhyun is his first. He joined last trimester along with Jonghyun. And under other circumstances Minhyun is sure he would have been fast friends with Minki. Same age and all but—

Minhyun’s thoughts get interrupted by Minki’s tug and “let’s meet the family” after they circle up for the same campfire song. Minki drags him towards Aron’s direction.

“Hey big brother,” Minki says cheekily, “come meet my Little.”

Minhyun gives Aron an awkward wave as Aron smiles and says: “you joined!”

Minhyun nods because he’s not sure what to do.

Aron directs his hand at his mentee. “This is Joel. He’s my frat brother and now my Little. Ah wait,” Aron claps his hands together, “I should introduce you to...” 

He hurries off as Dongho and his Big joins the huddle.

“Uncle Bumzu~” Minki says and Minhyun is positive that he does it just to see Dongho’s Big freeze a little. Minhyun gives this Bumzu a once over. He seems decent. Minhyun doesn’t remember him though but Dongho must have bonded with him during one of those nights.

“Bumzu _hyung_ and my Big share the same Big,” Minki explains. Minhyun is now sure this is all purposeful from the honorific. “Bumzu is also a music major. Third year.”

Aron returns with two people in tow. One is Jonghyun. The other is an intimidatingly handsome woman with tattoos snaking up her arm and Minhyun knows without looking that Dongho’s eyes are wide. He’s been talking about and researching tattoo designs and artists for months now that he’s out of the house and his mom can’t stop him.

“Ailee, meet your new grandbabies,” Aron says.

“Ew,” Ailee makes a face, “you’re making me sound old.” She pulls Minki in for a hug and then puts an arm around Aron’s shoulder. “I was expecting a great grandlittle though,” she turns on Jonghyun.

“I didn’t feel ready,” Jonghyun replies meekly.

“Anyway,” Ailee says, putting her other arm around Jonghyun to indicate no hard feelings, “as matriarch, I declare we take a picture of Nu’est!”

“Nu’est?” Minhyun asks Minki.

Minki nods. “A family name for fun. Helps with games and stuff. It stands for newly established dynasty.” Minhyun assumes the sounds are just mashed together. “Then it became a running joke because for some reason this tree was mostly all Asians. So it now stands for new gods of the East. Obviously it doesn’t leave our circle.”

Ailee drags the president into taking the family picture for them. Minki crouches in front of Minhyun. The weight of Aron’s arm is on his shoulder. Minhyun takes a glance at the line up of smiling faces, flashes one for the camera, and debates the pros and cons of becoming a fully pledged member.

Minhyun follows them to Darwin’s. It’s uneventful and he doesn’t even feel like snacking or board games. He does take a fry from Dongho’s plate just cause he can.

Aron waves a goodbye and a seemingly directed “see you around” before heading off to the library to study. Minhyun decides he’ll definitely become friends before this club trial period is over ( like hell he’s going to pay to join a club ).  


It is a toil of love.

For the first week Minhyun tried to attend all activities — get a gauge for events Aron is likely to attend. Then started to be a bit more selective after that. If Dongho raised questions about his sudden enthusiasm towards the club, he deflected them by reminding Dongho about the annoying requirements to join.

Minhyun scoured through google spreadsheets for the right sign up times and even opted to boost his membership hours by studying at the library. 

Minhyun is used to having the ocean mitigate the brutality of winter winds. Both hands are shoved deep into his pocket as he waits on the curb with somewhat familiar faces. None he knows well enough to say hi to. Barely enough to smile at and acknowledge.

“You look miserable,” comes a voice so familiar Minhyun does his best not to whip his head around.

He’s faced by a cheerful smile. But Aron is also buried under layer of clothes and somehow still manages to shiver.

“You seem to be competing me for that title,” Minhyun retorts.

Aron chuckles and then shrugs. “What can I say? I’m a LA boy. We weren’t made for Illinois winters.”

He starts walking after that and Minhyun follows his lead to wherever Blessings in the Backpack is held.

“You look nervous,” Aron notes. Minhyun hasn’t explored much of this quaint town, observing the route and the buildings they pass by.

“I don’t know what to expect,” Minhyun confesses. Most of the restaurants seem to be readying themselves for dinner. Lights that adorn the streets begin to light.

“I’m sure it isn’t what you think it is. We might pack weekend meals for kids but we never really get to meet them,” Aron says with a sigh before turning to look at Minhyun. And upon noticing the expression on Minhyun’s face, he quickly amends: “there are opportunities but I usually have class during that time.”

“It’s still a good deed. It’s just—”

“Not as hands on as you are used to?” Minhyun finishes for Aron.

“Something like that.”

They walk past a pet store as the lights flicker off and towards a church.

“Not that it isn’t rewarding. It’s just different,” Aron concludes as they walk into the church and then offers to take Minhyun’s coat to hang on one of the hooks. Minhyun lets him and trails after Aron like a lost puppy.

After the main organizer finishes their spiel of how this will operate, Minhyun follows Aron’s lead.

“Usually I like handing things out,” Aron gestures at the individuals who are handing out cans of chicken noodle soup, apples, small snacks into the plastic bags that they have asked campus to recycle. “But once in a while switching it up isn’t so bad. Just the waiting is the worst part.”

And true to his word most of the activity involves a lot of traffic. Waiting for people to file through and get handed the materials needed. A quick tie of the bag and given to a counter that makes sure the correct amount of bags get given to the right school. Pick up a plastic bag again. And wait in line until it is your turn to gather materials until it runs out.

Afterwards is the “fun part” as Aron has called it. Where everyone sits in a circle. A quick update of events. And then a random question is asked as they go around the room to share their answers. Today’s question is: what superpower would you want?

“I want glasses that can see through walls,” Aron answers as a few individuals _oooooh_ at him. Minds utterly in the gutter. Aron just laughs.

Minhyun is very self conscious when it is his turn but still manages to say: “rather than a superpower, I would want to be the spouse of a superhero.”

Thankfully, it is followed by a polite round of claps before they move onto the person beside him.

There’s a nudge to his elbow. It’s Aron.

“Which superhero?”

Minhyun swears Aron waggled his eyebrows for emphasis. Minhyun presses his lips together.

“Is it Iron Man?”

Minhyun knows how he must look judging from how hot his ears are. His face must be bright red and he hangs his head a little.

Aron wraps his arms around Minhyun and coos, giving him a little shake. “How cute~”

Minhyun wants to bury his face in his hands. But the thing about Aron’s teasing is that it isn’t the annoying or vindictive type. Just gentle and playful.

The hug ends far too quickly.

But the walk back to campus is comfortable. And just like the earlier recruitment days, talking to Aron is just so easy.

That Sunday, after the general meeting at the Darwin’s membership hours, Minhyun takes up Aron’s offer to study together in the library — clock in a few more membership hours. “At this rate they might have to cap our hours,” Aron jokes on the way to the library. Minhyun smiles.

It’s nice. Relatively peaceful. But clearly neither of them are in the mood to study so when Minhyun takes out his textbooks, Aron decides to comment on them.

“Why did you decide to become a music major?” Aron asks, sounding genuinely curious.

Minhyun gives him the usual: “I don’t know what else to do with my life. I’ve always liked music. Loved singing. Might as well pursuit it.”

But instead of the _ah so you want to become a singer_ and other dismissive looks of chasing some far fetched dream, Aron just nods. “What caused you to fall in love with music? It has to be intense enough to continue studying it,” Aron remarks as he picks up Minhyun’s music theory book and flips through it. “Can’t imagine this would be an easy study.”

Minhyun laughs. “And people often think it is because it’s not a STEM course.”

Aron wrinkles his nose at that.

“You know how in movies... the superhero emerges and in the background there is music playing? An inspiring and awe inducing theme song. Or in a romantic scene the only reason you know it is romantic is because some soft tune is being crooned? Music has a way of communicating with others through emotions. It’s powerful and yet simple if you break it down to its base components. It can create feelings of hope or despair. Amplify a message. Scare you or reduce you into tears,” Minhyun gushes. Then feels self conscious for rambling.

“I get that.” And those simple words dispel a majority of Minhyun’s embarrassment. “It also manages to enhance silences. Make them more powerful.”

Minhyun nods. Then asks: “Why journalism?”

Aron shrugs. “Similar reasons I suppose. I’ve always liked writing and have been good with words.”

“But to be honest,” Aron whispers, placing a hand in front of his mouth and eyes darting around as if in fear that someone will overhear, “superhero work.”

Minhyun blinks at the wink Aron throws him.

That causes Aron to laugh. The hearty kind that Minhyun can’t dislike.

“It’s probably stupid but I thought it was cool. Still do. The pen holds weight. Turns tides. Helps shed light on the darkest crevices. Good journalism has brought about exposure to corruption. Kept power in check in governments bent on tyranny. And provided credible sources for citizens to educate themselves.”

“Wow,” Minhyun exhales, “that’s really admirable. Not all heroes wear capes.”

“Yeah,” Aron agrees, “like Iron Man.”

Which earns him a shove from Minhyun that he just throws his head back and laughs at.

Before a retort can be made, brothers from Aron’s other fraternity barge in.

“You don’t mind do you?” one of them asks. The one who became Aron’s APO Little. Joel.

Minhyun smiles. “Not at all.” He starts collecting his textbooks from where they were sprawled.

But before he shoves them into his backpack, Aron says: “you don’t have to go. Stay if you want.”

“Yeah. We don’t bite,” one of them says as he holds out his hand, “unlike Aron over there.” Which earns him a scowl from Aron.

“That was once. On a dare,” Aron protests weakly.

Minhyun takes the offered hand. “Christian,” the guy introduces himself.

“Minhyun,” Minhyun echoes.

It’s not as awful as Minhyun was preparing himself for. He still goes home after two hours of this like he had planned on doing all along. Although maybe it wasn’t terrible because Aron was there to bridge things and SigChi, as it turns out, seems to have the largest queer population of all the fraternities.

It becomes a sort of routine.

Tuesday evenings are for Blessings in the Backpack. Sundays are reserved for membership training, general meetings, a Darwin’s run, and studying in the library. Although the studying bleeds over into other days. Accidentally finding Aron in the library during the week, joining him, and becoming more acquainted with his brothers.

“Oh,” Aron says with a tone of surprise, “I was wondering who I was tabling with.”

Minhyun blinks as he internally panics. Maybe the sign up to whatever shift Aron was doing was a bad idea.

As if noticing Minhyun’s discomfort, Aron quickly says with a smile: “I’m glad it’s you.”

And maybe Minhyun dies a little inside.

“Asking people to sign up for the blood drive is never fun,” Aron explains. “People either will donate or they won’t. All we are here to do is to make sure they know what day is it so they can turn up and donate.”

Seamlessly, after that explanation, Minhyun watches as Aron calls out at people who are walking towards the cafeteria or exiting. Some he knows by name. Others he just waves at and asks if they know about the upcoming blood drive. Minhyun is fascinated by the confidence Aron exudes and the response rate in return. The once empty sheet slowly began to be filled with names and email addresses.

It prompts Minhyun to try as well.

He manages to convince one or two. But the look of pride on Aron’s face is what makes him the happiest.

“Not bad. Not bad,” Aron says as another student walks away after jotting down their contact information. He squeezes Minhyun’s shoulders in a playful massage that has Minhyun laughing. “One day you may surpass me, my young padawan.”

Minhyun dramatically puts his hands together and bows deeply. “I wouldn’t dare to dream of it, Master Kwak.”

Both of them are still giggling when they pack up at the end of their shift.

Instead of their usual weekly let’s sit down and chat Big/Little time, Minki managed to gather anyone who was available from their family line to play pool. Only Aron, Jonghyun, and Dongho could make it.

“Let’s split into teams,” Minki suggests and Minhyun immediately takes a step towards Dongho. Not because Dongho was a champion or anything. But because Minhyun was certain their level was roughly the same — painfully beginner.

Jonghyun frowns and point out: “this feels like we are bullying our new members.”

Aron cracks his knuckles, which earns him a glare from Minki as Minhyun tries not to chuckle. Minhyun keeps a hand on Dongho’s shoulder, almost possessive. Dongho sags a bit, clearly keen on wooing his crush this evening.

“It’s more like roommates against roommates,” Minhyun says in return.

Jonghyun cracks a smile at that.

“Let’s get started then,” Minki announces and sends all the numbered balls in all directions with a loud crack.

After the first round it becomes painfully clear that no one really knows what they are doing except for Aron. Jonghyun is okay too but the rest...

Let’s just say everyone else is very close to Minhyun’s level. Minhyun who was aiming at a 5 that was right beside a hole and managed to miss it entirely and land the white into it.

Everyone erupts into laughter. Even Minhyun.

“Bowling is going to be a riot with you,” Minki says with a gentle pat of a promise as Aron takes the next turn. Not that he needs the benefit of placing the white ball.

His form is perfect. At least Minhyun assumes he is. Fingers splayed, one eye shut to aim. It’s almost like one of those competitive pool player scenes on tv except Aron wasn’t sitting on the table and aiming for some crazy angle.

One swift stroke and five falls into the hole as the white ball bounces off the wall — allowing Aron to continue his reign. Minhyun watches in awe as Minki mutters “show off.”

It ends after that round. Aron needing to go do some project. Jonghyun has to get to his night time shift at Darwin’s and Dongho using that as an excuse to leave as well.

As Minhyun carries some of the supplies with Minki to check them back in, Minki says: “Aron, huh?”

Minhyun panics. “What do you mean?”

Minki smiles as he retrieved his student ID from the counter, all Cheshire like.

Minhyun’s heart sinks and stammers: “It’s not what you think it is. Just a friend crush, I—” He pauses. “Is it that obvious?” almost afraid to meet Minki in the eye.

Instead of any sort of reply Minki wraps his arms around Minhyun and pulls him into a tight hug. It crushes Minhyun but the hand that reaches to pat his head and the chin that tucks itself against Minhyun’s shoulder feels nice. “I’m not judging you, Minhyun-ah,” Minki says quietly almost as if he was apologizing. “I would never.”

Minhyun allows his forehead to rest on Minki’s shoulder. The panic slowly subsiding. Sometimes he forgets this is no longer high school. Here, there is acceptance.

“It’s okay,” Minki says, releasing Minhyun and guiding them to a nearby booth to sit, “doesn’t matter if it is a friend crush or not. I was just going to inform you that he has a play in a few weeks and that we should go see it together.”

“Play?” Minhyun asks, confused.

“Yeah. The Neverwhere posters that have been posted everywhere?” Minki replies. Then from Minhyun’s expression he concludes: “oh you didn’t know about Aron’s love for acting. Probably a remnant from high school like you with choir.” Minki shrugs. “The nice thing about liberal arts colleges like this one is that they don’t care about what major you are. Anyone is welcome to be a part of productions or the choir.”

“Well technically...” Minhyun begins before Minki cuts him off with a wave of his hand.

“Yeah choir requires some level of ability. Trust me I was going to join until I noticed how elite it was and how my time can be used elsewhere. No offense,” Minki adds at the end.

“None taken,” Minhyun says.

“Anyway,” Minki continues. Minhyun suspects he’s rambling to make up for the prior bumble. “Aron won’t tell me which role he’s playing. Which means he’s probably nervous about it. Which means it’s something big. And I thought it would be nice to have our last Big/Little meeting spent that way.”

Minhyun swallows thickly. “Last?”

Minki looks at him in the eye. Minhyun feels intimidated and has half the mind to look away. “Last,” Minki echoes. “You’re not joining APO are you? I was just waiting for you to tell me.” Minki’s tone is far from accusatory. If anything it is gentle and filled with that sort of kindness that has led Minhyun unable to tell Minki all this time.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to waste your time,” Minhyun says.

Minki shakes his head and pats Minhyun’s hand. “Don’t apologize. I like getting to know you. Even if I am not your Big, I will still be your friend.” Then nudges Minhyun in the arm. “Good luck trying to get rid of me.”

Minhyun groans playfully. “Joining APO really was my worst mistake.”

The look on Minki’s face turns sad. “Was it really?”

Minhyun shakes his head. “No. I’ve met some truly amazing people. And see the sense of community that has everyone staying.” He decides not to say more than that and points at Minki’s shoulder. “May I?”

Normally he wouldn’t do this. But with Minki it just feels right. Some sort of life long bond forged through mishaps. Fate — if it even exists — bonding them in its miraculous ways.

Minki squares up his shoulders dramatically and pats the one nearest to Minhyun. “Only because you’re my Little.”

Minhyun gasps as he lets his head rest on Minki’s shoulders. “You wouldn’t do this for me as a friend?”

Minki sniffs. “Maybe... I’ll consider it when I heal from the heartbreak of losing a Little,” Minki conveys dramatically. It causes Minhyun to chuckle.

Half way through the semester. Juggling midterms and extracurriculars seems almost impossible. Even Dongho has managed to cave under the pressure and forgot to shave for two or three days. ( Not that Jonghyun seems to mind. Or maybe Dongho avoids Darwin’s all together. Minhyun barely has time to manage his own life let alone know how Dongho’s love life is progressing. )

Maybe it is because of the relentless workload that Aron doesn’t turn up to Blessings in a Backpack.

He’s also not at the library.

And when Minhyun runs into Aron in the cafeteria on Thursday, both trying to grab a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie from the platter, Aron merely smiles at him and walks off. Minhyun hates how it stings.

He plops down across from Minki and shoves his plate of cookies towards Minki.

“What’s wrong?” Minki asks as he bites into a cookie, expression instantly turning into one of bliss.

“Aron has been acting all weird this week. I just said hi to him and he just smiled and walked off?”

“Ah,” Minki sounds. “It’s Sigma Chi’s initiation week.”

“Isn’t he already a member?”

Then as if noting the confusion on Minhyun’s head and questioning why he ever put down Minhyun’s name for a Little when he was this uninterested in gossip and current affairs, Minki explains ( not without a sigh ): “Maybe some people would consider it hazing. Definitely a better tradition than the streaking with Kappa girls in the football field.” Minki makes a face of utter disgust. “But to show your dedication to the fraternity you can’t speak to anyone outside of the fraternity. The only exception is class time. And even though members technically don’t have to do it, the culture kind of pressures you.” Minki shrugs. “After all it is about showing loyalty.”

“It’s quite amazing really,” Minki comments after taking a second cookie, “we are in our peak horndog years and they manage to not communicate with their significant others for a full week.”

“Maybe I should have rushed,” Minhyun mumbles under his breath.

Minki makes a face. “You would have hated it. You call _us _culty. You’ll be paying even more money for an even cultier group.”

“But—” Minhyun pouts.

“Most fraternities have rules against dating your brother anyway.”

Minhyun chokes. “I’m not—”

Minki places his hands in the air. “Especially Sigma Chi. Too much drama has happened in the past.”

Minyun sighs. Minki slides the cookies back as a peace offering. Minhyun picks one up and takes a bite. The center is no longer gooey the way he likes it.

“I’ll go grab you some ice cream,” Minki says, “make a sandwich out of it.”

Minhyun nods meekly and wonders what his life would be like without Minki in it.

And as Minki said, everything settles back to normal after that week. Aron shows up to Blessings in a Backpack and they chat as Aron hands out chicken noodle soup and Minhyun places a juice box into the plastic bag held by a volunteer. Aron waves enthusiastically at Minhyun from their usual library table. When they cross paths in the cafeteria, Aron stops and chats.

Minhyun can’t help but smile.

Minhyun really can feel the end of the term closing in.

The day of the blood drive swings around.

Minhyun has slotted himself a two hour shift and brought a book like Minki had advised. All he has to do is tell people to eat and drink and wait for 15 minutes in case anyone faints. And if people try to tough it out and leave, do your best to convince them. ( Especially men. Ugh. Toxic masculinity is coined that for a reason. ) Otherwise it is relatively peaceful. Even Aron is reading his textbook with a highlighter in hand.

Minhyun dives into his next assignment. Occasionally breaking away to give a donor some snacks and a bottle of water. He’s so deep into working on his assignment that when he looks up, he sees a donor getting up from the chair across from him and an Aron who seems to materialize beside the donor whose face immediately turns pale. By the time Minhyun gets out of his seat, Aron is propping up the poor dude as a Red Cross individual wheels something over to help guide the dude to a bed.

Minhyun walks over and picks up the guy’s phone that has been dropped to the floor during that fainting spell. Aron smiles as he takes it from Minhyun and hands it over to the guy. There are some encouraging pats and a weak chuckle from the guy.

Aron gives Minhyun a small shrug accompanied by a smile when he returns to his chair.

His own words _not all heroes wear capes_ echoes in his head.

Minhyun had no idea what to expect of the play. The foyer was simple. A few boards with information about the play, production, and cast. He was surprised by the quality. How the ushers seem to be well trained. The temporary box office. And how transformed the theater hall was since that time he stepped foot into it on orientation day. But nothing quite like when the play began. The curtain pulled open to reveal an elaborate stage with an upstairs and multiple balconies. A platform that helped transport the audience from a subway station to the world of London Below.

Aron appears early on as the Marquis de Carabas. Stunning in the Medieval long coat. The maroon color paired with elaborate golden threads that match the solid buttons. The lapels draw emphasis to Aron’s waistline, the black lining enhancing the outfit and exuding that feeling of nobility. The skirt of the jacket flairs out, twisting gracefully with the Marquis’ dance like movements. 

Minki almost whistles underneath his breath. “They’ve outdone themselves this time. I hope Aron gets to keep that jacket,” Minki whispers. Minhyun is once again awed by the production quality. Tailored costumes? In house created props? The brilliant use of scaffolding to induce the sense of portals and transition between London Above and Below so seamlessly with a simple object.

Not to mention how mesmerizing Aron is. The audience gasps at the Marquis’ demise and struggles. Seemingly far more invested in the Marquis de Carabas than the two main characters of this tale ( or at least Minhyun is ).

A beast created by auto-machinery, half hidden to maintain the element of mystery, bright red LED lights against a black shadow of endless fur as the plot races towards the climax. The characters that fall off the balcony for theatrical purposes as they develop their own arcs within this two hour long play. The surround system where the voice of the angel booms. And the clever use of the projector screen in conjunction with all the stage props built around it.

The ending twist where magic is never lost and the beautiful Marquis is the one who restores hope.

Minhyun stands up and applauds as the actors bow on stage. Without knowing and following the audience’s lead, he hollers in excitement, congratulating the entire cast and crew with excited whoops.

Unsure of what to do when the curtain closes, still stationed to his spot as London Below lingers in his mind, he’s brought back by a gentle tug of his wrist.

“Let’s go congratulate Aron,” Minki says. Minhyun nods and trails after.

“That was incredible,” Minki yells, taking the words right out of Minhyun’s mouth as he leaps in Aron’s direction. Aron stumbles but catches Minki and swings him around. Minki then pulls back and frowns, patting Aron’s shoulder. “Where is the jacket?”

Aron laughs. “I knew you were after something. You’re never this excited to see me.”

“Nonsense,” Minki says quickly before repeating: “Where is the jacket?”

“They didn’t want me to get it dirty. After all, I still have 3 more nights,” Aron replies. Minki frowns but Aron turns towards Minhyun and holds out his arms. “You’re here too!”

Minhyun falls into the embrace gingerly.

“How did you like it?”

“It was amazing,” Minhyun says. “You were amazing.”

Aron smiles in that embarrassed way of his. “Aww, thanks Minhyun.” But is then quickly surrounded by his fellow brothers who chuck a bouquet of flowers at him and tackle him all at once. Thankfully, Minki pulls Minhyun out of the way.

Minhyun stays in stunned silence the rest of the way home. The image of the Marquis of Carabas flashing through his mind.

Clearly it is the fascinating plot that brings Minhyun back to view Neverwhere again for the next three nights.

Minhyun isn’t quite sure what comes over him when he picks up the school paper. Maybe because it is free and is always a huge stack conveniently placed near the laundry machines. Either way he flips through it mindlessly until he comes across an article about Blessings in a Backpack. In it includes interviews from actual recipients as well as the professor that acts as an advisor for the club, woven into a report about the impact of those Tuesday evenings. The sense of community it has fostered: donations coming from citizens of this town and other corporations, directly funding these weekend packs. As well as subsequent movements due to the rising awareness of food desserts within this town: plans for opening community gardens. Not only to help those in need but also allow for local sourcing for the community kitchen — cutting down carbon foot printing.

When he finishes reading the article, his eye flits to the author. In small letters, underneath the title, it reads Aron Kwak.

It’s Sunday. The initiation ceremony is next week. Today is the last day to pay and secure the commitment of joining.

Dongho had turned in his year fee early on. Minki, true to his word, hasn’t brought it up.

Minhyun reflects on the past few weeks. He’s certain the members of APO would still treat him the same even if he didn’t end up joining. He’d still have that time in the library. Minki would still hang out with him.

But it wouldn’t be the same.

Minhyun places the correct amount into his wallet and decides not to tell Minki about it. Surprise him on the day of the culty ritual when he becomes one of them.

Minhyun feels like a fish out of water as he wraps his fingers tightly around the red solo cup in his hand. He sticks close to the wall as he waits for a familiar face to come save him. Any familiar face. What was he thinking when Minki texted him about the SigChi party?

_We have to celebrate you being a member!!!_

_What better way than to attend a party thrown by the new SigChi boys?!_

Apparently it was their last task of their induction trials. Minki was right. He would have hated joining any actual fraternity.

The house is a mess. And not just because there are undulating humans pressed tightly against each other in the middle of the dance floor or forgotten bottles and cups littered in every possible corner. The house is old with a lot of character. A beautiful front porch currently occupied by very cross faded individuals who are verging on tipping over and falling into the snow down below. Spacious living and dining room areas where the furniture has been moved out of the way to create space. But Minhyun can tell, even in this dim lighting, that despite trying to keep it livable, it shows the tell tale signs of _boys_ and their lack of care. ( Apparently Kappa houses have lush white carpets. SigChi has some worn out rugs and bare wooden floors with scratch marks. )

He has half the mind to leave. Someone is playing the newest pop song that is overplayed on the radio. Some terrible DJ skills with no sense of transitioning and Minhyun can feel a headache setting in. If he has to watch another heterosexual couple grind on each other, he swears he’ll—

“Minhyun?”

Minhyun turns to see Dongho’s surprised face. His hands are interlaced with Jonghyun’s. Minhyun is about to utter a congratulatory message when Dongho says: “What are you doing here? You don’t even drink.”

Apparently Jonghyun gets shy because he quickly lets go of Dongho’s hand and excuses himself to grab both of them another drink.

Minhyun narrows his eyes at Dongho’s words. Maybe it’s the built up annoyance since stepping foot into this place but Minhyun interprets it as a challenge.

“Turns out I do,” Minhyun retorts as he tips the cup back and chugs it in one go. “Guess it’s time to get some more,” he says with a smack of his lips, trying not to cringe at the taste of vodka. Ugh no wonder people try to mix it into things or flavor it up a little.

He almost misses the New Year’s soju his parents allow him to sip. Almost.

His cup gets filled. He sees Dongho with his brows knitted, walking towards him in concern, and knocks that cup down too.

The upperclassman serving drinks ( Minhyun can’t be 100% sure in this lighting but he thinks it is Joel ) pours another one with a wide grin. This time it is almost full to the brim. A challenge! Minhyun’s brain interprets.

The liquid this time is dark. Maybe rum. Or whiskey. Some part of Minhyun wants to giggle. He’s lifting it to his lips when he feels the cup being tugged away from his grasp.

It’s Aron.

Aron clucks a tongue at Joel. “Let’s not scare my little brother’s Little.” He downs it with a flair, flipping over a cup to prove that every last drop was drained.

Minhyun smiles. Feeling the alcohol working into his system.

“That was soooo hot,” someone drawls.

Minhyun notices a girl in Aron’s arm. She presses herself against Aron who meets her half way. Lips colliding against each other and tongues slipping out.

Minhyun turns around. Grabs the nearest bottle and a new cup and pours himself another one.

He loses track after that.

Someone’s hand guides him away from the table of liquor and towards a keg. Instructions. Demonstrations. The world flips upside down and feeling the beer spills down messily as a crowd cheers on, drowning out the voices that rage within.

He pumps his fists into the air. It is followed by a round of applause and a solid thump on the back. Joel’s voice saying: “That was quite impressive for your first time doing a keg stand.”

Minhyun has no idea why it fills him with so much pride.

That is until he feels like absolute crap.

Headache culminating, feet unsteady. The lights and body in the way don’t help his cause at all as he tries to navigate this house until he finds the bathroom.

He barely makes it in time.

A Minhyun a little more sober would have contemplated how he ended up clutching a toilet bowl in a frat house. In what universe would he actually allow himself to do this. They barely clean the house thoroughly. What makes him think the toilet would be any different?

And yet here he is. Every thought interrupted by a bout of retching.

Soon he feels a hand on his back. A wad of tissues thrusted in his face with another.

Minhyun doesn’t have to look up to know who it is. He takes the tissues and nods in thanks. Unable to use it as he throws up again.

Maybe five minutes later? Time is hard to tell when every cell of your body is complaining. Minhyun says: “What are you doing here? You’re being an awful date to Jonghyun.”

“I’m impressed you managed to make out all those words,” Dongho replies dryly and then looks absolutely apologetic when Minhyun returns to retching. He rubs Minhyun’s back and Minhyun just tries not to cry. “Besides,” Dongho says, “I don’t think Jonghyun would want to date someone who watches their friend rush into the bathroom about to retch their intestines out and just stands there unwilling to help. Honestly, he probably would be in here if I wasn’t.”

Minhyun smiles faintly as he slumps against the porcelain bowl and tries not to think about what activities the bowl has witnessed.

“Sounds like you’ve found yourself a decent man. Congratulations Dongho.” It probably sounds less sincere coming from a man hugging a toilet bowl but Dongho beams anyway.

“Thank you Minhyun. It means a lot to me,” Dongho says.

Their conversation is cut short by a Minki who barges in. There’s glitter in his eyeshadow and it makes him look absolutely stunning. Minhyun probably accidentally said it out loud because Minki says flatly: “how flattering coming from my barf and beer stained Little.”

“How did you find me?” Minhyun says instead, trying to wash away his accident.

“Jonghyun went to find me after Dongho came in here. Probably thought you needed all the support you could get,” Minki explains as he crouches down.

Minhyun’s eyes water. Yearning to tell Minki or at least cry into his shirt ( which he’s sure Minki will allow Minhyun the Little to do and not Minhyun the friend but something tells Minhyun that even in the latter situation Minki would let him and only mildly complain about a ruined shirt ). His eyes flitter to where Dongho hovers, concerned. Despite considering his roommate his best friend, he really hasn’t told him much. He would like to keep it that way for now. His alcohol infused brain likely to behave otherwise.

Minki picks up the hesitation and instructs Dongho to return to the party with a: “are you doubting how capable my hands are?”

Dongho replies no meekly and yet still chances Minhyun a glance. Minhyun holds out his thumb to reassure Dongho.

Minki turns back to Minhyun, hand still placed on his hip when he says: “spill.”

Minhyun does so quite literally which causes Minki to apologize and offer him a bottle of water to sip from after wiping Minhyun’s lips clean.

“You’re right,” Minhyun acknowledges, “it was never a friend crush. I wanted it to be because after graduating I promised myself I would never crush on a straight guy.”

He hangs his head. Minki sits down next to him and maneuvers Minhyun’s head so that it rests on his shoulder. He continues the petting motion.

Minhyun chalks it up to liquor when his eyes water.

“But it’s so hard not to. He’s charming. Effortlessly funny. Has a kind heart,” Minhyun mutters before giving a hollow laugh. “You know what’s funny? That despite that promise I told myself it’s okay for this one exception. After all, it’s safer to be in love with someone unavailable.”

“The same shit I told myself in high school when I would waste all my affections on some asshole: if there's no hope, there's no disappointment right?”

Minhyun’s lips tremble.

Minki continues the head patting with one hand and offers Minhyun toilet paper with the other. Minhyun takes it and dabs it at his eyes.

“But it still hurts Minki-yah... it still hurts.”

It’s so comfortable with Minki that he slips into Korean. Part of him wants to laugh at how cliched that line is. Probably taken right out of his mother’s dramas.

“Aron hyung is easy to fall in love with,” Minki replies in the same fashion. Minki sits up and cups Minhyun’s face, transitioning back to English, to drive the point home: “but you deserve better Minhyun.”

“I won’t stand for the sidelined tragic gays who pine for the main male character and are never given a happy ending,” Minki declares seriously and Minhyun chuckles.

“I’m not Kang Joon Hee,” Minhyun says, about to add how the character actually did get a happy ending but Minki cuts him off with an

“Exactly. You’re the main character of your own story and you deserve happiness too.”

The tears overflow as does the warmth in his chest.

“Thank you,” Minhyun hiccups. The words are muffled by Minki’s shirt that soaks up the tears.

Minki’s embrace is as always — warm and accepting. And safe.

“If you want,” Minki says quietly after a while, “I can introduce you some of my friends. Set you on some dates.”

Maybe it’s the alcohol talking, removing his usual inhibitory brain. Or maybe Minhyun just craves to experience love. It probably is a bit of both that allows Minhyun to cling to Minki and say: “I would like that.”

Despite that bathroom break down, Minhyun can’t stop. He never considered himself to be masochistic and yet like a moth drawn to a flame he still continues to go to the library and head to the same table.

The images of the party flashes through his mind.

He tamps it down as he returns Aron’s smile.

He can’t stop.

The feelings in his chest are fuzzy and warm and he doesn’t want it to end. Even if they end in a sharp twinge whenever he thinks of last weekend.

He hates himself for it but he can’t stop.

The term winds down to its last days. Everyone seemingly excited for the one week break. The lucky ones with only essays to turn in online have long gone home. Minhyun and the rest of the campus take comfort in the three days of cramming allotted before finals during Midnight Breakfast. This stingy good for nothing college at least a hosts one free midnight snack run per trimester.

Minhyun has been so busy prepping for his presentation that he decided to just go to the cafeteria in his pajamas. He’s clearly not the only one judging by the onesies and interesting attire others have on.

Dongho takes a small nap in the long line as they wait for the doors to open. Hoodie pulled up over his head to hide his growing facial hair and the bed head that hasn’t been smoothed out. Jonghyun stands in place as Dongho rests his forehead against Jonghyun’s shoulder.

Minhyun and Jonghyun are chatting about their plans for spring break ( It’s mostly food. This town is abysmal when it comes to food places. It barely has one edible Chinese restaurant let alone a Korean one. ) when Dongho makes a sound, shifts his position, and presses his lips against Jonghyun’s throat.

Minki makes a noise of disgust, unfortunately catching the moment when he looked up from his phone.

“You guys are really cute together,” Minhyun comments.

Jonghyun was already embarrassed by Dongho’s actions, now flushes and ducks his head because of Minhyun’s.

Minhyun chuckles. “No, really.” And then lowers his voice to a whisper. “Just don’t tell him I said that.” Minhyun points at the sleepy Dongho.

It earns him a whack from Dongho which Minhyun complains about with a “you’re too good for him. What do you even see in him?” while rubbing his arm.

Jonghyun looks at grumpy and sleepy Dongho with eyes so full of fondness it answers Minhyun’s jest long before he even explains. ( Minhyun does enjoy the way Dongho grows more embarrassed as Jonghyun voices his reasons. )

( Part of him wonders if he’ll find someone who looks at him the way Jonghyun looks at Dongho.

He fears he already knows the answer to that. )

The line _finally_ starts moving. But it still takes a while before the four of them get to the breakfast foods. It’s really simple. Scrambled eggs, hashbrowns, bacon, or sausages. Dolloped onto your plate by a member of the faculty who has volunteered their night. It’s usually the popular ones or the ones who truly care for students. Minhyun smiles and thanks the unfamiliar faces before waiting for the rest of his friends to finish collecting their food.

The hunt for tables is actually the worst part. Why Minhyun had insisted on lining up almost an hour early. Which comes to no surprise when fifteen minutes later the cafeteria is packed and extremely noisy. A majority of the individuals visibly drunk. Aron stands there with his paper plate and says: “can I join you?”

( Minhyun hates the way his heart lurches. )

“What about your SigChi brothers?” Minki points out the same breath Jonghyun scoots over to make room and Minhyun says: “sure.”

Aron glances over at his frat that have managed to secure a long table and shakes his head. “I’m in the middle of writing my essay. If I join their table, someone is going to get me drunk and I can kiss all my productivity good bye.”

“I thought being tipsy helped writing?” Minki comments.

Aron shrugs. “Works for some people. Not for me though.”

The conversation is interrupted by Ailee with their APO treasurer in tow. Eric, Minhyun thinks his name is.

“Hope you don’t mind,” she says as he plops down.

“Not at all,” Minki says sweetly.

The conversation shifts.

Then again when Dongho spots his Big and waves enthusiastically for him to join.

Before they know it, security is threatening to kick people out as the event draws to a close. Minute hand inching towards the 12 and hour hand closing in on the 3.

As they exit, Minhyun says to Aron: “guess you already kissed productivity goodbye.”

Aron laughs and stretches. “Eh,” he shrugs, “I needed the break anyway.”

And just before Aron splits off from the rest of the group to walk home he says, “I probably won’t see you until next sem. So good luck on your exams!”

It’s probably not directed towards Minhyun. He treats it like it is and yells back “you too!” with enthusiastic waves of his own.

True to his word, Minki sets Minhyun up on a date.

Jisung is lovely. Polite, well-mannered, and silly in the way that makes Minhyun laugh and instantly sets him at ease. Jisung feels like a prince that stepped out of a children’s story book. The kind of ideal that modern media tries to enshrine. And honestly, Jisung would probably be the perfect boyfriend — just not Minhyun’s.

They share a turtle crepe for dessert but ultimately decide to remain friends when they part ways.

Spring has finally arrived. The once empty branches now hang beautiful blossoms, branches dancing in the breeze, petals slowly cascading down to grace the earth. The grove near the Quads emits a pleasant fragrance, inviting weary students to rest beneath its shade for the afternoon. The fragrance only seems to grow stronger with the night. The moon is full tonight. Minhyun still remembers how surprised he was by how big the full moon could appear when he first arrived. How yellow, how low it could seem to hang. Not to mention the stars visible in the night sky without any other aids.

But now, the silver light of the moon and the occasional clouds add a mystical aura to the pink flowers that sway in the wind.

Aron stops in his steps and halts their conversation to look up.

“Beautiful isn’t it?” he remarks.

Minhyun does the same — tilt his head towards the sky — yet his eyes remain on Aron’s hand.

“It is,” Minhyun sounds, internally patting himself on the back for deciding on walking Aron home after their library session.

Deftly, Aron plucks a pink flower. He turns towards Minhyun and holds it out with one hand. “For you.”

Minhyun blinks before he gingerly reaches out to take it. Wondering if he was a girl would Aron have tucked it behind Minhyun’s ear. But too afraid to ruin the moment, Minhyun doesn’t say anything at all. Just a “thank you” as he holds it close towards him. Treasuring the gesture that probably stemmed from Aron’s whimsical nature.

( Minhyun tells himself not to read too into it but his heart skips a beat anyway. )

A few more steps and Aron says “I’m headed that way. Aren’t you going to the convenient store for something?”

“Right,” Minhyun says quickly, having forgotten the excuse he had made up to hang out with Aron a bit more. He chuckles, hopes it doesn’t read as nervous and says: “see you.”

Minhyun quickly runs towards the store.

Aron checks his phone for the time and pockets it. He’s about to walk towards his dorm when something in his periphery causes him to turn his head.

He watches Minhyun’s receding figure walking in the direction from which they came, empty handed.

Aron frowns and wonders if the store was out of stock of what Minhyun was looking for.

Unlike last time, Minhyun gets invited over to Sungwoon’s apartment for a date. Sungwoon had jokingly greeted him at the door with a “ready for our Netflix and chill?” probably to get a reaction out of Minhyun. It works. Sungwoon laughs.

As Minki has described, Sungwoon is a social butterfly. So easy to talk to that Minhyun quickly sheds his usual polite chatter and engages in conversation.

The rest of the evening is, true to Sungwoon’s word, chill.

The couch is so comfortable that Minhyun ends up leaning against Sungwoon, almost cuddling as they watch a movie.

( Minhyun starts to reflect on what he wants out of a relationship and why he wants to enter into one. )

You can tell a lot about an individual based on their living arrangements. Sungwoon is mostly neat and orderly. Has a sense of humor and taste that matches Minhyun. Even when Minhyun gets up to go to the bathroom and complains about back ache, Sungwoon showcases his vitamin collection for Minhyun to supplement. Minhyun laughs and takes a multi-vitamin gummy.

The night wanes and they both come to a mutual conclusion to remain friends.

After returning to his dorm, Minhyun smiles at the texts Sungwoon has sent, grateful for encountering yet another understanding individual.

Minhyun looks up from his textbook, surprised. There’s only two of them at the library table today. In Aron’s hand is an ear bud. He nods for Minhyun to take it.

“Thought you might like this,” Aron says at the appropriate library volume.

Minhyun takes it and places it into his ear. The song washes over him. He knows his eyes are probably widening as the song progresses.

He looks at Aron who smiles back, seemingly pleased.

“This is good,” Minhyun whispers.

“I’m glad you like it,” Aron chuckles and then returns to his work.

Minhyun takes a moment to stare at Aron’s side profile. The white bud in his ear in contrast to the black stud. The cord that runs from Aron and connects to Minhyun.

He feels his ear heating up and quickly returns to his task at hand, quelling the thoughts that demand for his attention.

( When he gets his ears pierced not long after, and picks out simple black studs for them, he tells himself that he only got them because he felt like it. )

Minhyun switches it up this time. Instead of meeting first, Minhyun decides to exchange texts and gauge his interest.

He finds out that Daniel shares a hometown with him. Well technically a home _city_. And so do their parents, despite neither of them visited Busan in the recent years. Daniel also turns out to be into comic books and their adapted action movies so they make plans to watch the newest Marvel release that weekend.

Daniel has a lovely eye smile, enhanced by his beauty mark beneath his eye. He even pays for a tub of popcorn that he insists they share.

It’s a nice date. But Daniel is understanding when Minhyun turns down any subsequent ones.

Their chatroom dwindles down to the occasional memes.

“Hey don’t worry,” Aron says upon seeing Minhyun’s expression. “Just follow my lead,” he beckons with a finger.

Minhyun looks around and wonders how anyone who volunteers at the community kitchen know what their job is the for evening. And yet everyone seems to be busy with their hands: setting tables or working in the kitchen. No one seemed to have a moment to pause and be bothered by questions. Minhyun wouldn’t know what to do if it wasn’t for Aron.

Aron introduces him to an older man who immediately sets down his glass and shakes Minhyun’s hand. Aron gives Minhyun a wave as he continues to carry his box of tomatoes to the kitchen and the older gentleman introduces Minhyun to the rest of the volunteers working in their section. Simple instructions of how the night will proceed and how they will assist the individuals dining with refilling of refreshments and cleaning away plates.

Once he gets working there really isn’t any time to stop and chat. Not until the diners begin to filter in and are ushered to their tables after grabbing a plate of food. Minhyun is pouring a woman a glass of water when he spots Aron being attacked by a kid. The kid smiles brightly as he gives Aron a hug. Aron crouches down to return it. There’s an animated conversation being exchanged followed by Aron being dragged by the boy and introduced to his parents.

“This is Aron! He tutors me after school!” the boy declares as Minhyun sets the glass down in front of who he assumes to be the boy’s mother.

“Thank you so much,” the mother says as she shakes Aron’s hand, “he’s been doing better in math thanks to you.”

Aron shakes his head. “He’s a bright boy to begin with. Just needs someone to explain to him properly.” Aron gives the kid a playful rustle of the hair and the kid bursts into a fit of laughter.

Minhyun finds himself smiling at the exchange. The kid’s school is probably where Aron volunteers on Wednesday afternoons. Some basic tutoring or homework help for kids waiting for their parents to pick them up after school.

Minhyun sneezes. A tissue is offered that he gratefully accepts.

“Why do you do this to yourself?” Dongho asks as Jonghyun tucks the packet of tissues into his pocket.

Minhyun scowls at how the allergy meds aren’t helping. “Just because I’m allergic to animals doesn’t mean I don’t like them.”

He stares at the one frolicking before it runs back towards Aron and jumps, leaving two paw prints into black pants.

“But you volunteered for this whole day of working with shelter animals,” Dongho points out.

Minhyun shoots him a glare. “Your point is?”

Jonghyun gives Minhyun a pat on the shoulder. Minhyun doesn’t miss the way Jonghyun gives Dongho’s and his interlaced hands a squeeze.

“Come on,” Jonghyun says, “let’s get you introduced to a puppy.”

They join Aron as Dongho heads inside to retrieve another dog for a walk. The pitbull that was playing with Aron licks his face when Aron crouches down to give him a thorough head pat. Minhyun finds himself squatting as well and the dog quickly turns to lavish his attention upon Minhyun. Minhyun keels over from the weight and laughs.

“Do you have peanut butter on your face?” Aron jokes, seeing how the dog is lapping at Minhyun’s face before helping him up and giving him tips on where to pet after hearing how Minhyun has never owned a pet in his life.

“Like that,” Aron says as his fingers stroke the pitbull’s chin. Minhyun watches in awe as the pitbull closes his eyes in bliss and allows Aron to continue the ministrations. The sun seems to energize Aron directly: making the sound of his laugh a bit more crisp, helping his eyes sparkle that little bit more, adding a sheen to his lashes.

Minhyun goes on a date with Ong ( Not _Hong_, not _Gong_, not _Ung_. But _Ong_ ) Seongwoo.

And then a second.

He’s contemplating a third when Seongwoo pauses and raises his camera. The straps that fasten it to his neck stretch as he twists the lenses and aims it at a bird. The scene viewed from behind — the way the sun creates a silhouette that is more picturesque than what he is trying to capture — reminds Minhyun of two weeks ago when he saw Aron across campus with a camera hanging around his neck.

He can’t let this continue.

Seongwoo is incredible. His sense of humor ranges from puns to dad jokes and although Minhyun doesn’t laugh out loud at all of them he still likes them. Seongwoo is sentimental, with such a strong taste for poetry that Minhyun had come away from their first date with a list of recommendations. He also has a memorably attractive face that Minhyun had commented upon during their first meeting along the lines of_ weren’t you the lead for Neverwhere?_ And Seongwoo had nodded with a tint of bashfulness.

He has to end this.

Seongwoo turns around with a smile, about to show Minhyun the photo he had taken.

“Thank you for today,” Minhyun says. Seongwoo lowers his camera. “And for last time. I really enjoyed my time with you, Seongwoo.” Seongwoo lets him talk. Minhyun continues: “you’re really charming, and sweet, and funny. And I like you. I really do I just—”

“Think of someone else?” Seongwoo asks. There’s no judgement in his tone and Minhyun wonders if Minki had filled him in or he had come to the conclusion himself.

Minhyun nods.

“I can see myself going on a few more dates with you and enjoying our time together but that wouldn’t be fair to you. You shouldn’t be someone else’s replacement,” Minhyun says as he holds Seongwoo’s gaze. “You have the type of face I like. Stop laughing,” Minhyun says quickly when Seongwoo chuckles, growing embarrassed.

“It sounds like you are spitting truths at me as if you won’t ever encounter me on campus ever again,” Seongwoo comments.

Minhyun bats at him and proceeds to ramble: “Your sense is top notch. Your facial muscles literally allow you to make any silly face you want without detracting from your handsomeness. You look at the world with wonder. You call me sweet but you have a heart so big and accepting that you pair with your gestures... that term really should be used on yourself. And because of this you deserve to be seen and loved for who you are. Not as another individual’s stand in.”

“I wish we could have met sooner,” Seongwoo says, voice quiet.

Minhyun wonders what life would be like if that was the case. Seongwoo has so many similar traits as Aron. Minhyun finds himself saying: “I do too.”

Seongwoo spreads his arms, an open invite for a hug that Minhyun takes up. “I don’t think I’ll meet another person who would shower me with such compliments on our second date,” he says into Minhyun’s ear, causing him to laugh. “Thank you,” Seongwoo says finally as he lets Minhyun go, “I’m glad I met you.”

Minhyun smiles.

Seongwoo clears his throat. “This is probably an awful time to bring it up but there was something else I wanted to talk to you about today.”

The confidence that usually defines him is replaced by sheepishness. Minhyun tilts his head, urging Seongwoo to continue.

“A senior of mine is putting on a play and he needs help with sound design,” Seongwoo starts, “you seemed to have some interest in theater last time we chatted and I thought you might be interested?”

Minhyun wonders if this is due to Seongwoo’s attentiveness or how he might have accidentally asked too many questions about the behind the scenes in regards to theater productions. His mind drifts to the Neverwhere play and Aron in that long coat. His mouth grows dry. “I...”

“He’s already picked out most of the sound track, just needs someone to refine it,” Seongwoo continues to persuade, “you’re a music major. This could help build experience.”

“Do they teach the art of persuasion in business courses?” Minhyun teases.

Seongwoo shakes his head. “It’s more of a _fine_ art.”

Minhyun laughs and says: “I’ll try.”

Seongwoo’s smile is wide when he thanks Minhyun and informs him that he’ll text Minhyun the details later on.

Aron is walking back to the SigChi house with his big Jason and Joel when he spots Minhyun. Minhyun has his arms wrapped around another dude in an embrace, a small smile on his lips. Joel walks into Aron who has halted.

Joel follows Aron’s line of sight and says “hey isn’t that our classmate?” Probably commenting on the person Minhyun is hugging as they pull apart.

“You know,” Joel says as he nudges Aron’s arm, “the handsome kid the girls keep flocking during photography class.” Joel looks back at the pair. “Didn’t know he was queer. Cool. Maybe we can get him to join us.” The whole conversation is playful.

Aron ignores Joel.

It’s Seongwoo. Funny and pleasant kid that Aron has come to know through all the plays this year. But right now...

Aron chalks it up to being protective of Minki’s little.

( Minhyun texts Minki an apology and how much he appreciates Minki for arranging these dates. But Minhyun doesn’t think he’s quite ready for the dating scene yet. )

Minhyun follows Seongwoo downstairs and into a black room. Literally. Not because of the lighting but because every inch of the room is painted black. He’s still trying to make sense of it when Seongwoo says: “This is my senior Seokjin.”

Minhyun looks up and marvels at how the theater department is full of very attractive individuals.

“Pleased to meet you, Minhyun,” Seokjin says with a kind smile and a firm shake of the hand. Minhyun barely manages to utter the proper reply.

Seokjin is kind, patient, and welcoming. Fills Minhyun in on everything he needs to know and seems eager on working with Minhyun despite just meeting him.

“So this is a black box theater,” Seokjin explains as he takes Minhyun on a very short tour of the space. “It is one of the more versatile forms of theater. The chairs are movable so this space can be utilized and designed in whatever way you would like. It allows for artistic expression and creativity that other spaces can’t provide.” And then with a shrug: “this of course comes with its downsides too. This space can fit far fewer people than any other theater. But allows for a closer interaction.”

Then brings Minhyun to the sound board where he plays a track. A raggae cover of a popular song plays. “So this is the playlist that will be playing as the audience enters before the play begins,” Seokjin says and shows Minhyun the list on his phone. He flips to another list and says: “And this is the playlist for when the audience filters out. Or between people leaving and Q&A.”

“And here are the songs I have been using throughout the play.” Seokjin pulls up the third playlist and pulls out a sheet of paper that has instructions scribbled in. Some lines are crossed out with new text underneath. A work in progress. “Some of them seem fine but a few of them don’t quite fit with what I have in mind for the scene but I don’t know how to fix it.”

“This is where I come in?” Minhyun asks, looking up at Seokjin who is trying to smooth out the sheet of paper with his hands.

Seokjin nods and then looks at the empty space below where the performance will be held. “This is basically my senior thesis,” Seokjin says with eyes distant, “I want it to be perfect.”

Minhyun frowns. “But if you are in your fourth year, don’t you have friends in the music department?”

Seokjin chuckles and turns to face Minhyun, as if studying him. “I do. But when Seongwoo recommended you, I also remember when my upperclassmen gave me a shot.” He smiles at Minhyun. “And my friends are busy or something like that,” he says with a dismissive wave. “Besides, I have a feeling we will work well together.”

“I need someone who will work with me. Not someone who will take my project away from me,” Seokjin says simply with another one of his beatific smiles and Minhyun makes a mental note.

The next song plays and it sounds unlike any of the ones before. He knows this song. It’s by that popular new Korean boy band but this sounds like a cover.

Minhyun notices the growing blush on Seokjin’s face as he quickly switches to another song.

“Is that your voice?” Minhyun asks. “It’s lovely.”

Seokjin shakes his head quickly. “It was just for fun.” And seeing the look on his face, Minhyun decides not to press.

More people file into the theater.

“Hey Seokjin,” Aron calls from below, holding a hand over his eye, shielding it from the spotlight that glares down at him, “I brought you dinner.”

“Thanks,” Seokjin calls out and then beckons Minhyun to follow him below.

“Everyone, this is Minhyun,” Seokjin introduces and Minhyun waves a hand shyly, “he’ll be helping us with the sound design. He’ll also be our very first audience so please rehearse like it is the actual performance.”

Minhyun looks at Seokjin alarmed.

Seokjin flashes him a reassuring smile and says to him: “I need you to evaluate it. But more importantly, as the tracks play, whether or not it fits.” He hands Minhyun a blank journal and a pen.

Minhyun nods.

Seongwoo comes up and hands Minhyun a sandwich. “I forgot to inform you to eat before you come,” he explains, “rehearsals tend to run late.”

Minhyun thanks him.

The rest of the cast and crew eat from their take away boxes, Aron approaches Minhyun and sits down beside him. He opens his container and holds it out for Minhyun in case Minhyun wants to sample anything. Minhyun shakes his head.

“I’m surprised to see you here but glad that you are,” Aron says. And that simple sentence manages to calm the slowly building panic within Minhyun as he realizes how much of a time commitment this could turn out to be. “If you’re worried about anything just talk to me. I’m here for you,” Aron promises.

“Thank you,” Minhyun replies as he takes a bite from his sandwich.

The play is interesting. It opens with a round table of demons, the villains of folk lore and myths, with Aron’s Lucifer at the helm. He plots to get Death to cede. Seokjin who plays Death is a force to be reckoned with. Impartial and unswayed by Lucifer’s constant visits and taunts about how weary he must be. How nice it would be to finally succumb to rest and let someone else carry the burden of Death. Why not the strongest being in Hell? Death wards him off every time with power seemingly greater than the Devil himself.

But Death, despite being tired, decides to find his own successor. Train the successor so that they can keep this immense power out of the Devil’s grasp.

Seongwoo plays a boy who is desperate to save his best friend. He doesn’t want to see his best friend suffer any longer and would do anything for him. Sensing this, Death’s servants choose him as the next heir. And Seongwoo gets led on this journey where promises of power are made. Running in parallel is his best friend’s plight. Situation growing worse the longer Seongwoo’s character spends with Death. The best friend watches his mother take her own life. Tries to call Seongwoo but is met with nothing but empty rings. Lucifer’s underlings toy with him in hopes to convince the new Death to give up his power. The art the best friend draws to express himself become more and more turbulent.

The play comes to a climax when Lucifer is defeated. Death has successfully transferred his powers to Seongwoo’s character, safe guarding it for another millenia from the Devil’s clutches. Yet New Death is too late. The play draws to a close when New Death is tasked to reap his first soul and comes face to face with his best friend — the man he had exchanged his normal life in order to gain the power to protect.

Minhyun wished he had time to sit there and soak up the plot. Decipher the meaning behind it. Probe into Seokjin’s brain. But for now he just shows Seokjin his notes and the tracks that are in desperate need of change.

Seokjin thanks him profusely when Minhyun mentions that he might be able to get someone to compose original pieces for what Seokjin has in mind. He takes lengthy notes on what emotions Seokjin tries to convey in certain scenes and then: “I was thinking that it might be a nice personal touch if you sang for one of the tracks.”

“You could just hum,” Minhyun says quickly, “I just thought it would be nice.”

“I’ll think about it” is all Seokjin says.

Being involved in a production is a lot of work. Minhyun has certain days where he almost regrets doing it ( mostly when he’s accidentally dozing off in lectures and has to borrow a friend’s notes ) and questions his own work life balance. Really, what was he thinking adding another responsibility onto his plate. And yet when he’s sitting cross legged with the rest of the cast and crew in the black box theater, all that tension in his shoulders are somehow lifted. There’s something nice about being part of something bigger. Learning from people from different walks of life ( or in this case different majors and different years ). Watching a raw production slowly be refined. And the pride that glows from people’s faces. Minhyun finds time to slot studying in. Manages to find a way to make his schedule more efficient to fit this in.

Minhyun redesigns certain scenes musically and manages to enlist Dongho into the process of composing a few new pieces as well as rework a few older assignment submissions for the play. Dongho, hesitant at first, only agrees after Minhyun persuades him about the experience and impact. Or maybe its the fact that Minhyun banks on the fact that Dongho has a soft heart that is willing to help others. Either way Seokjin is pleased with the new tracks and Dongho’s name and face graces the program as main composer.

Dongho, along with Seokjin’s close friends, attend the dress rehearsal for the premier viewing. Even Minhyun gets to come down from where he’s usually situated to watch it all.

Watching Dongho’s eyes widen as the plot unravels and squeeze Jonghyun’s hand so tightly Jonghyun has to gently pat Dongho to remind him to loosen up, makes a sense of pride swell within Minhyun. Almost as if this play was his child when it’s Seokjin’s. But in a weird way it kind of is. Being part of something for months and having his friends do so well that he can gauge from the audience how much they are entranced by the story telling is spectacular.

Maybe because tonight everyone is giving it their all. Or maybe because it is a full dress rehearsal with costumes. The battle between Lucifer and Death has a lot more impact. Aron looks stunning. The shadow the light casts as the scene plays out has Minhyun’s heart racing as the plot climbs towards climax. And when Dongho’s track plays and Seojin’s voice fills the theater with Minhyun’s lyrics, chills run down Minhyun’s spine. New Death looks at his best friend’s soul with so much heartbreak Minhyun swears he hears someone in the audience sniffle.

An applause erupts all around Minhyun when the whole theater turns dark before lights flood back on. The lack of curtain calls for dramatic cues to signal an end to the play. Minhyun joins in, clapping until his hands are sore.

Praises are heaped upon the audience. A few advice and comments given to refine it before the actual week. Minhyun is so glad he decided to give this a try.

The week of performance is splendid. More and more people come to see it as it grows acclaimed via word by mouth. The performance grows more and more refined even from this unflattering view above that doesn’t allow Minhyun to fully interpret the emotions displayed on the actor’s faces. But Seokjin has done such good job instructing the cast that even gestures are enough to derive personality traits.

A standing ovation at the very last night. Seokjin is brought dozens of bouquets of flowers from his friends and almost drowns in the amount. He’s glowing from joy and Minhyun swears his cheeks are damp from the way light catches on his face. Minhyun smiles, mirroring the expression on all the cast. And bows deeply when he is introduced as part of the crew.

But of course what is the end of a project without a celebratory party? 

Of course there’s alcohol. “A party without alcohol is just a meeting,” one of the cast members quote an ad as they pop open a bottle of champagne. The liquid threatens to shoot and spray at an unfortunate victim but thankfully someone is experienced enough to catch it in a glass and pour the first one for Seokjin.

The party rages on. Minhyun decides to not relive his last semester in the bathroom and sips slowly. Someone brings in the karaoke machine. 

A very drunk Seokjin finds Minhyun and wraps an arm around him, showing him off to the people attending the after party and announcing: “my savior!”

Minhyun shakes his head quickly and waves his hands in front of him.

“You were right about the personal touch,” Seokjin says as he pulls Minhyun into a hug and squeezes him, “I almost cried. I never thought my voice would be suitable.”

Seokjin lets go of Minhyun and looks him in the eye. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity.”

Minhyun shakes his head. “I should be thanking you.”

Seokjin laughs and drags Minhyun to the screen and thrusts a microphone into his hand. “Then thank me by singing!”

It’s playful but Minhyun isn’t drunk enough for this. He’s used to a choir setting or a solo bathroom concert but in front of everyone who is expecting something of him?

Seokjin claps his hand together. “Minhyun must be shy!” And then drags another victim to the front and gifts them the other microphone.

The poor victim is Aron.

“I can’t sing,” Aron says.

Someone from the audience calls out: “Bullshit. You were singing two songs ago.”

“That was a rap,” Aron corrects.

Minhyun walks over to Aron. Aron seems buzzed and excited so Minhyun just says: “choose a song you want to sing.”

Aron chuckles. “You sound confident,” he says as he flips through the book.

He picks some popular R&B. Minhyun hates how his heart quickens when their gazes accidentally meet during the chorus. Aron, despite his earlier statement, has a nice voice. Could probably be better. But like any instrument, improvement comes with lessons and practice.

A few weeks ago, when Minhyun was thoroughly overwhelmed, Aron had joked: “you look stressed. Wanna smoke some weed with me?” while doing the universal cigarette smoking hand motion. Minhyun had looked up at him, eyes unwavering, and said: “sure why not?”

So here Minhyun is, sitting outside on the porch of the Sigma Chi house, lounging in one of those beat up chairs with the rest of the individuals he’s become acquainted with during his library sessions. Part of Minhyun still wonders if he made the right choice. Anxiety refusing to quell as he thinks about his parents’ reactions. But at the same time this is college. Advertised for risk behavior and trying new things under the overused expression of YOLO. So when Aron hands Minhyun the bong and the lighter, his hands don’t shake ( much ) as he receives them. Not that he knows what to do with them. Aron smiles, amused, before showing Minhyun.

“When I light it, suck in the smoke and hold it in your mouth,” Aron instructs, “and then you inhale it so you get the maximum dosage.” It makes no sense to Minhyun. Even less so when Aron lights it and adrenaline forces him to take in a deep breath. Aron smiles and lights it for himself. Exhales and then passes the glassware to the next person.

Minhyun frowns. He doesn’t feel anything. Maybe he did it wrong.

The bong is passed. Aron gestures for Minhyun to inhale as he lights it again. Minhyun takes in another big mouthful and coughs. Repeatedly. Choking on air as he gasps for breath. So focused on survival that he misses when Aron ducks into the house to retrieve a bottle of water that he coaxes into Minhyun’s hand. Minhyun drinks it as someone pats him. “Happens to all of us,” Jason says.

Once Minhyun has settled down, he notices how red Aron’s eyes are. Aron offers him the bong again. Minhyun takes it.

It’s much better this time. But still nothing.

“How many hits do I have to take?” Minhyun asks.

Aron smiles languidly. “You’ll know when you know.” It sounds almost ominous.

So Minhyun takes another one. And another one. And another—

Something about his body feels comfortable and sleepy. His thoughts roam until they fixate on the smell of weed. How gross it is despite him not minding it when he’s inhaling it into his lungs. But what would his roommates or housemates think of him? Would they shun him? Would they consider him a pot head? Would they turn their nose up in disgust when he walks back into the dorm later tonight ( or earlier tomorrow morning )? Oh. My. God. What if they begin to hate him? What if they already hate him? He doesn’t want to jeopardize his relationship with them? But also Aron looks angry at him. Or at least upset.

Minhyun’s breath quickens. And realizes everything running through his head has also managed to make its way out of his mouth. When he realizes he’s apologizing to Aron. “I’m sorry. I must be ruining your mood right now. Your night right now. But my roommates and—”

Despite seeming visibly annoyed. Aron still offers him water and tries to reduce the hyperventilation. He doesn’t call Minhyun out on his paranoia. Just: “I’m sure they don’t hate you. And if smoking weed changes how they view you then that’s on them.” And later when Minhyun is a lot calmer: “let’s go inside and watch something. How about Avatar: The Last Airbender?”

Minhyun nods.

He’s guided upstairs and honestly has no idea where he is or the layout of the house. It takes almost a minute for him to realize he is in Aron’s room. Aron just invited him into _his room_. One part of him wants to squeal into the pillow. Most of him just wants to collapse into a heap on the bed that Aron is guiding him onto.

The laptop’s light is bright. Almost blinding. Aron’s sheets are a bit rumpled and crinkled. Minhyun loves it. The mattress feels like all the standard issued ones the college has provided for students. Even the bed frame is the same creaky, height adjustable, sad piece of metal work. And here he thought frat houses would have special furniture. Jokes on him. Minhyun giggles. Aron turns and asks what’s funny. “Nothing~” Minhyun sings unconvincingly and giggles again. Aron’s face breaks into a grin as he chuckles.

“You’re so high right now,” Aron says and Minhyun finds that hilarious too and nods aggressively.

As ATLA loads and the narration mentions the Fire Nation attacking, Minhyun finds it in himself to ask: “do you mind if I rest my head on your shoulder?”

Aron simply replies: “I appreciate you asking.”

It’s a lot harder than Minhyun imagined. Bone and muscle underneath. Minhyun wonders how often Aron works out. Mind drifting somewhere else as eyes stay glued to the screen.

Soon, drowsiness kicks in. Even Aron encourages him to succumb.

When Minhyun wakes up, he finds himself in an empty room. ATLA is still playing on the computer screen. He has no concept of time. It feels like forever. His chest also feels hollow. The space beside him is cold. Who knows how long Aron has left. Maybe Minhyun really did annoy him.

Minhyun heads out of the room after collecting his things and then walks downstairs. There he finds Aron in the living room with a few of his brothers, exchanging a joint. Minhyun feels incredibly stupid. What was he thinking? That the willingness to try something different would make Aron impressed with him? That Aron will see him as someone worth smoking with and maybe ask him to hang out some more?

Pathetic. Minhyun is so pathetic.

Aron looks up surprised and goes to Minhyun. “You could go back to my room and sleep. I’ll crash on the couch or sleep in one of my brother’s bed room so you can have the room all to yourself.” But that’s not what Minhyun wants at all. So it stings.

See heartbreak is a silent creature. Makes no sound. But tears one apart from the inside out. And as you drown in that anguish you can’t possibly convey in a way another human being could understand, the person causing all that pain remains blissfully oblivious.

“I just want to go home,” Minhyun repeats, sounding as hollow as he feels.

Aron nods and grabs his jacket. “Let me walk you home.”

“You don’t have to,” Minhyun snaps and walks out the door.

Aron follows regardless. Catching up to Minhyun easily and falling in step with Minhyun’s pace.

The rest of the journey to Minhyun’s dorm is commenced in silence until they get to the dorm.

“Thanks for tonight,” Minhyun finally says. The nap had allowed him for some sobriety. “Do I owe you anything.”

Aron shakes his head. “It’s your first time. It’s on me,” he says like it’s some sort of explanation. ( It’s not. )

“Thank you,” Minhyun repeats, “for walking me home.”

Aron shrugs. “Any time.”

Here, Minhyun tells himself, means _anytime for Minki’s little_. Or it is just something Aron does because he is a nice person like that.

Minhyun forces a smile on his face and waves and walks in without looking back.

After discarding his clothes in a plastic bag and closing it tightly, he goes to the kitchen and pops open the freezer compartment of the fridge. Grabs the frozen fried rice and chucks it in the microwave. He’s so hungry he finishes the full cup in a matter of minutes and craves some more but decides against it.

He stares at himself in the mirror after a quick shower. Hair dripping and making a mess of the sink area. Skinny frame and far too prominent collar bones for no good reason. Blood shot eyes on a miserable looking face that was already ugly looking enough. And those stupid black studs in each ear that reminds him of one person.

Minhyun takes them out and leaves them out to dry on his desk.

It’ll never heal in the same way. Definitely will leave some sort of mark. But eventually it’ll close.

Minhyun counts on that and collapses into his own bed. The blanket he had stretched out each morning so they don’t look so crumpled. And quickly falls asleep.

It’s the best sleep of his life.

Minhyun no longer shows up at the library.

He still goes to his routine volunteering events but talks to other people instead. Or does the bagging instead of the handing out of supplies in Blessings in a Backpack. He smiles, waves, and says hi but like those earrings collecting dust on his desk — he keeps his distance.

Minki looks gorgeous tonight. He always does but tonight—

“_Ren_’s the name,” he corrects when Jonghyun compliments _you look amazing tonight, Minki-yah._

His make up is dazzling. The wig looks like Minki’s hair was always meant to be this long. The outfit that Minki wears just makes him stand out even more. So beautiful that men are flocking Minki for selfies and women are gathering around for beauty tips. Obviously, Minki rids of them all with a simple wave of the hand as he joins his friends.

“You look nervous,” Minhyun notes.

“I really want to win,” Minki says, “we don’t really get anything if we win. Maybe a $25 gift card or something but it would just be nice to win Body Week’s drag race.”

“So you can be Queen for four years?” Dongho speculates.

“Obviously,” Minki retorts. His piercing blue contact lenses worked into his already intense glare seems to actually frighten Dongho.

Jonghyun places a hand on Minki’s shoulder. “I know you will,” he says. And Jonghyun always has that affect on people — where his sincerity and belief almost because reformed and becomes your source of confidence.

Minki’s smile grows brighter and then grabs his friends and drags them to a certain photograph on the wall.

It is one of Minki submerged in a bath tub. The water is clear but filled with flowers to cover the more private aspects of Minki’s nude body. He also holds a flower between his teeth. The picture is entirely black and white. It’s incredible. A work of art just like the other photographs displayed on the walls of this room. Every one of them showcasing and celebrating a body — no matter the shape or size.

“Aron couldn’t make it today but he took that photo of me,” Minki declares proudly, “also asked around his friends to help me with preparing for today’s race.” Minki squeezes Minhyun’s hand. “I’m so happy you guys are here to support me.”

“That’s what family is for,” Dongho states.

Minhyun looks back at the photograph.

Perhaps he should stop running away. He misses Aron. Not just in that crush way. More important than all that heaped on infatuation is the simple fact that Aron is family. A vital part of Nu'est and Minhyun’s friend. He shouldn’t allow his one sided feelings to tarnish that.

Aron doesn’t mention anything when Minhyun finally shows up at their table again. Just treats him like he has never left and offers him an earbud.

Minhyun accepts.

Minhyun wakes up at 5AM to the sound of pots and pans being banged together. Dongho tears out of bed, eyes wide, looks out of the window and turns to Minhyun and yells: “It’s Flunk Day!”

Minhyun groans and pulls his blanket over his head. “You said that last time as well.”

He has some semblance of peace for a minute before Dongho tugs at Minhyun and says repeatedly: “get up. Get up. Get up. It’s Flunk Day.” And judging by the fact Dongho hasn’t given up and is awake enough to wake Minhyun probably means that it is true. Either that or Minhyun will be needing a new roommate tomorrow and he’ll also have to break it to Jonghyun that he needs to find himself a new boyfriend.

Minhyun groans and allows himself to be pulled up. “I don’t get the hype,” he complains as he walks to his closet for something to wear. He puts on the Flunk Day shirt he bought under peer pressure.

_It’s awful isn’t it?_ Aron had commented. _Next year, I’ll make sure APO gets their own Flunk Day shirts_.

Dongho is already wearing his. “You literally get a random day of spring term off. No classes. No responsibility. The college hosts a bunch of activities and provides free food all day. You can spend it indoors. Spend it in another city. Get drunk. Get cross faded. Do whatever the hell you want. How can you not get the hype?” Dongho asks incredulously.

“Banging on pots for the past few weeks,” Minhyun points out the window at the seniors who are continuing their wake up call rampage through campus.

Dongho shrugs. “The anticipation is half the fun.”

Minhyun sighs and follows Dongho out of the dorm to grab some breakfast.

The school really went all out. Inflatable bouncy castles. A zip line being set up. Laser tag later on that night. A bag full of gifts ranging from plastic bottles to hold water ( although in reality more people would use it for alcohol than water ) to sun glasses that spell FLUNK DAY across the lenses. Security guards milling about, mostly to help those individuals who get themselves dangerously drunk. And already at 6-ish, Minhyun already sees some people staggering about.

Near the cafeteria he runs into Minki who looks pretty tipsy and grabs Minhyun by the shoulder and squints. “You didn’t pregame?”

“Hi Big. How nice to see you Big. And no,” Minhyun replies, “I didn’t drink and don’t plan on doing it.”

“We wanted to spend our first Flunk Day sober,” Dongho explains. Honestly, Minhyun just wants to spend the day chilling somewhere. Too bad most buildings are closed. Probably in fear of destructive, inebriated college students.

Minki shrugs with a quick _suit yourself_ and follows them into the cafeteria for food.

It’s incredible how despite the college pouring money into this day and hosting a ton of events, college students still want to dig up a mud pit. _Tradition_ they insist as they ruin another fine patch of grass and make it muddy. There are rumors that the mud pit contains everything from human excretions to shards of glass. So obviously, Minhyun will never understand the individuals who are now terrorizing their friends, laughing their heads off, covered from head to toe in mud.

This must be why his RA had ordered them all to lay down plastic wraps to not tarnish the carpet.

Minhyun turns back to the zipline. The line is incredibly long but seemingly worth the wait. Makes a mental note to grab a funnel cake later and make a cool sign board when he notices one particular mud monster.

It terrorizes Minki. Chasing him out of line and around the grass as Minki screeches for it to back the fuck off.

“I’m serious, Aron,” Minki hollers the warning. It is followed by a cackle so characteristic Minhyun would know it anywhere.

“Oh come on,” Aron whines, “give me a hug, Minki-yah”

( What’s ridiculous in this situation is that Minhyun feels the twinge of jealousy in his chest. He hasn’t even had a single drop of alcohol to feel this way. )

Minki, luckily enough evades Aron. Aron turns to find a new prey and his eyes land on Minhyun.

( This is the part where Minhyun curses himself. )

Minhyun takes off.

Aron follows quickly with his arms spread wide.

“Minhyun~” he beckons “come give me a hug.”

( Minhyun hates how that sounds tempting even though Aron is covered in disgusting mud that originates from who knows where. )

Minhyun just gives Aron a chase. Almost running in circles. Ducking behind trees but also not fast enough for Aron to grow bored and leave him alone. And eventually ( it is 100% because he is tired and not due to any other reason ) Aron catches up. Almost tackles Minhyun with the force of running into him, and wraps his arms tightly around Minhyun. Minhyun cringes at the way mud clings to his skin and he can already see the stains on his shirt. “That’s my Minhyunnie,” Aron coos. Clearly drunk. Or cross faded judging by the blood shot eyes.

Minhyun still manages to smile.

( Nothing speaks louder than the way the chest is filled with warmth in that short embrace while feeling absolute disgust at both yourself and the now ruined shirt. )

The rest of Flunk Day passes by in relative peace. There is a dip in the number of individuals in the afternoon. Probably due to the sun. Probably because everyone is trying to catch up on a little bit of sleep as they drink more to prep themselves for the party at night. Either way Minhyun enjoys the rest of his afternoon and retires early in the evening to give himself a proper cleanse and ready himself for tomorrow’s class.

Flunk Day marks a turning point in the semester. Always scheduled past midsems and roughly a few weeks prior to the end of the term. It means the year is coming to a close. All clubs scramble to either find new executives or showcase their development over the course of the year.

Minhyun forces himself to not fidget under his choir robe. But the black cloth paired with the unyielding spotlight makes it very hard.

He sings. Unable to make out the faces in the crowd due to the light and hope his friends are there to support him. 

When the concert ends, Minhyun scans the crowd for familiar faces. Jonghyun is easy to spot. He’s holding a rose bouquet that is hard to miss and a white tiger plush. Jonghyun walks towards Dongho with the brightest smile on his face that Dongho quickly returns.

( There’s a twinge of bitterness resounding in his chest. )

It’s sweet how Dongho’s face lights up. How they quickly embrace each other. How Jonghyun showers compliments into Dongho’s ears ( probably. That or he’s giving Dongho a kiss on the cheek. Could be both. Who’s to stop them? ). How happy they are together.

Minki also pulls Minhyun into a hug and congratulates him. Minhyun spots Daniel and waves. Thanks Sungwoon and Jisung. Denies Seongwoo’s compliments and expresses his gratitude as Seongwoo walks off to greet another friend of his.

Aron comes up to Minhyun, a girl in his arm, and conveys how great the choir concert was.

Minhyun smiles and thanks him for coming. Minki squeezes his hand.

“Next year I’m moving in with Jonghyun,” Dongho says.

Minhyun was right. _Hey, can we talk?_ never leads to anything good.

“Are you sure?” Minhyun says and instantly regrets it. He knows what it sounds like and that’s not where he’s coming from. “Cohabiting isn’t that easy.”

“I know,” Dongho says, “but both of us wanted to try and see how well it would go or not go. I think we are mature enough to stay civil even if we do run into issues and break up.”

“Oh,” is all Minhyun says. And then: “I’m happy for you.”

He means it. Or he thinks he does. It’s just that he assumed since they worked so well together, he would room with Dongho next year too. But life doesn’t always go as planned.

Minhyun wonders if he’ll be able to find one in time. A single room is almost impossible lottery wise unless you’re a special circumstance. And leaving your roommate up to chance just sounds risky.

Minhyun waits until Dongho is out of the room to let out his sigh.

Runathon is APO’s biggest event of the year. It is a huge fundraiser. A 24 hour event where teams compete to run ( or walk ) the most laps for quite amazing prizes. The organizers somehow manage to convince the community to donate prizes ranging from $100 gift cards to movie ticket perks. They advertise it well enough that all of Greek Life gets involved as well as sports clubs. Individuals attend. People who just come together to create a team and walk for a cause. Of course, APO has to keep someone on the track at all times so someone from their team usually just walks ( but not really count it towards the prizes. Only towards the hours they need each term ).

3AM is just one of those worst times. This year it threatened to rain so it was moved indoors. Attendance has been abysmal. A lot of APO members had to stay and do the walks themselves just to keep someone on the tracks. Double Greek Life individuals try to call in their brothers or sisters in support. But even putting on the Parent Trap and other movies isn’t enough to convince people to trudge through the rain and walk for a good cause.

Ailee and her girlfriend are chatting as they walk laps around the gym.

Minhyun is lounging on one of the blue mats and trying really hard not to fall asleep. Minki has already given up. Dongho and Jonghyun look like they’ve fallen asleep while cuddling but their lips are moving from two mats away. Minhyun stares at the ceiling and contemplates walking a few more laps. But his feet are sore from earlier.

He’s surprised when the blue mat gives way, shifting to accommodate for another human’s weight. Minhyun looks up and realizes it’s Aron.

“Hope you don’t mind,” he says. Minhyun shakes his head and moves so that Aron can have some space.

“Last year we were outside,” Aron says, “it was so freaking cold we formed a cuddle puddle.”

Minhyun smiles. “That sounds nice.”

Aron hums. “It was.”

And then: “everyone is delirious at this hour. I’m surprised you’re still fine.”

Minhyun looks at Aron. “I could say the same to you.”

Aron chuckles. Then shrugs. “Used to pulling late nights I guess. In an hour I’m not going to make any sense.”

Minhyun rubs his hands together. “What secrets can I uncover then?”

There’s a gentle shove from a laughing Aron.

A moment of silence passes. Minhyun wonders if Aron has fallen asleep.

“I’ve been meaning to ask...” Aron starts, hesitant. Minhyun is too tired to tear that sentence into pieces to analyze what Aron is hinting at. “Remember when we were asked about super powers in Blessings in a Backpack? Why would you give up having a super power and be Iron Man’s husband?”

Minhyun turns to stare at Aron who is now lying on his side and facing Minhyun. “You’ve been pondering over this for all that time?” Minhyun asks as he shifts to mirror Aron’s position.

Aron shakes his head. “No. But occasionally, like now, I get reminded and start to wonder.”

“There’s nothing more to it,” Minhyun shrugs.

“I get why it’s Iron Man. He’s your favorite super hero,” Aron presses, “but you could choose _any_ power in the world.”

“Yeah,” Minhyun nods, “and you chose a perverted one.”

“I wasn’t going to use it for those purposes!” Aron protests.

“Sure,” Minhyun sounds, unconvinced. “But I guess... on one hand I don’t really know what super power I would want. And it is a lot of responsibility. Power is dependent on how you use it. In most scenarios, in gaining power, most people succumb to their whims and do bad things with it.” It’s probably silly of Minhyun to overanalyze it but Aron doesn’t seem to mind so he continues. “There’s also a lot of strength in people who support the hero. Alfred’s tenacity or Jarvis’ insight is crucial even without having super powers of their own.” Minhyun then shrugs. “I guess I just like the idea of supporting Iron Man. Clark Kent was an amazing superhero despite the ease in him playing god if he wanted to because of his adopted parents and Louis Lane. You know what happened to him in Injustice.”

Aron can’t quell his smile any longer. Minhyun’s ramble is endearing.

“So you want to be Pepper Potts,” Aron teases.

Minhyun waves his hands in front of him frantically. “No. No. No. Pepper is so badass. Especially in the MCU? I would die happy if I was as half as amazing as Pepper is.”

Aron holds onto the _I’m sure you are_ on his tongue and swallows it.

“Iron Man would be lucky to have a spouse like you,” Aron says it and means it.

( He misses the way Minhyun’s face flushes red. )

Aron turns and lies on his back. And thinks about all the things he has been avoiding as his second year draws to a close. Maybe it is the fact that it is three in the morning, edging on four. Maybe it is because he values Minhyun’s input as he’s grown closer to Minhyun over the past six months. Or maybe because Minhyun seems to be so sure of himself and what he wants in life despite being a freshman.

“What if there was something you wanted to do with your life,” Aron begins, “you know that is the path you want to follow. Your career in life. But there is also something else you enjoy immensely. And although it might not be the thing for you long term, it helps you feel more like yourself.”

Minhyun frowns. “I’m not high enough nor awake enough for this thought experiment.” He flips over so that his elbows are supporting his weight as he leans on his stomach. “What are you trying to say?”

“You know how we have that experimental learning requirement?” Minhyun nods. It could be a summer research job, an internship, or more commonly a study abroad program. “All my friends are going to study abroad next year,” Aron says, “some of them for a full year. Others for only half a year. There are really amazing universities all over the world with strong journalism programs. I could get to see the world, travel, if I studied abroad in Europe.”

“But,” Minhyun continues for him.

“But,” Aron echoes. “You’ve never seen it but our school has this thing called Rep Term. It is held every three years so I got to see it in my first year. Obviously, no first years are allowed because it is an intense program that only accepts 20 or so students. It’s basically study abroad on campus,” Aron chuckles, “because you never get to see the students unless you are lucky that their meal break is when you venture to the cafeteria.”

“Rep term is taking courses specially designed to help you in all aspects of theater. It is up to the students to put on two full plays almost entirely from scratch. Except for the actual screenplay of course,” Aron explains. “But like other times, lighting, sound, costumes, props — all are created by the students in that one term. And when I first saw it I told myself that I should do it, if possible.”

“But it’s stupid right?” Aron says, looking at Minhyun, wanting confirmation. “Theater is a hobby at most for me. I should further my skills in journalism. Maybe use this chance to solidify an internship. Or maybe I’m also saying this because all my friends are going abroad. And yes they’ll come back but I won’t have someone to live with for half a year.”

“I get lonely,” Aron adds with a pout. And Minhyun hates how cute he finds that expression. “I pulled out of the SigChi housing because living in a shared space like that was getting on my nerves but I also don’t have anyone to split an apartment with.” Aron sighs and slumps in defeat.

“First of all,” Minhyun begins and Aron perks up, giving Minhyun his full attention span. Minhyun is almost tempted to shove Aron’s eager face away. “If there is something you want to do you should do it.” Aron blinks at him in surprise. Minhyun crosses his hands and rests his chin on top of his forearm. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but we’re in college, Aron. Live a little. Dream a little. We don’t get chances like this often.”

He holds Aron’s gaze as he says: “name another time in your life where you would have such an opportunity like Rep Term.”

Aron shakes his head and considers it.

“Never,” he says finally. And then his expression brightens. “You should do it too. With me.” Only to realize that maybe Minhyun isn’t that keen on the theatrical arts to be spending a full semester on it. “Only if you want to.”

Minhyun thinks about Seokjin’s play. It was fun. But... well that’s in two years time. He has time to consider it. So he replies: “I’ll think about it.”

Aron smiles.

“And also you aren’t giving up an opportunity to study abroad,” Minhyun says. He recalls all the information sessions he’s attended. “There are short two week programs that count as experimental learning. Like that one that crosses disciplies: history, international relations, and German. It seems fun.”

Aron seems to ruminate over it. Minhyun thinks about the program in Austria he was thinking of applying for in his third year. Maybe he should do a bit more research or spend the next year discovering what he wants to do with life beyond just his simple, stagnant answer of music.

“Was that your second thing?” Aron asks, interrupting Minhyun’s train of thought. A look of confusion must have appeared on Minhyun’s face because Aron quickly supplements with a “you started out with a _first of all_.”

“Oh,” Minhyun sounds before saying: “if you need someone to room with, I am in need of a roommate.”

Minhyun is surprised by how nonchalant he sounds. Maybe being sleep deprived has its perks — being too tired for emotions.

Minhyun thinks he’s been silently turned down until Aron says, quietly, “that might actually work.”

Minhyun thinks it is just sleep deprived chatter the next morning. Aron doesn’t mention it at all. Even when he hands Minhyun a blueberry muffin from their breakfast stash before inviting him and the rest of Nu'est to breakfast at the cafeteria.

It isn’t until a few days later when Aron texts to hash out the fine details of the arrangement does it finally hit Minhyun.

Did he really... ask Aron to be his roommate? Are they really going to be roommates next year?

APO’s formal functions more as a fundraiser than a formal. Sure everyone is still dressed up, there are still songs, some minimal dancing, and a photo-booth but there is barely anything else that qualifies it as a formal. Which is probably why not many people show up. Members or other students alike. Some arrive late.

Like Aron who is probably still very hungover from his Sigma Chi formal last night. Minhyun says probably because Minki was miserable this morning during brunch and mentioned how he attended the SigChi formal as a plus one.

But the moment Aron sees him, he smiles, and slings an arm across Minhyun’s shoulder with a perky “hey roomie.”

There’s an odd bitter sweet wave that washes over Minhyun. The sort of excitement found in anticipation for this feeling of a crush to end and transition into something far more sustainable and healthier. And that melancholy feeling when change has to be faced.

“Good to see you too, roommate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in retrospect maybe i should have gone with amy rather than ailee but i feel like the nickname would have stuck and minhyun would have called her that internally and forgotten her true/full name.
> 
> a few links to images and gifs that helped me with this process. starting with:
> 
>   * [ong](https://twitter.com/welosw825/status/1192762203096485888?s=21)
>   * [superpower interview](http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1smcafd)


	2. Year 2

Minhyun and his dad are moving the last boxes from storage when he opens the door to find his mom feeding Aron a piece of her homemade kimchi. Aron smiles and nods. “This is delicious Mrs. Hwang,” he says covering his mouth politely as Minhyun’s mother beams, still holding onto chopsticks as if ready to give Aron another taste.

Minhyun’s mother _giggles_. ( Minhyun stares in shock. Even when his family helped him move in last year, his mother wasn’t like this with Dongho. ) “Call me _eomeoni_, Aron-ah.”

His dad’s only reaction is to shake his head and chuckle as he moves the box into Minhyun’s room.

“Eomma!” Minhyun protests, leading to a small chuckle from Aron as his mother continues to ignore Minhyun.

“If only I had a son as handsome as you,” his mother continues with a wide smile when Aron complies and calls her eomeoni.

“And how nice would it be if I had a brother dressed as nice as Aron is,” Sujin mutters under her breath the moment Minhyun walks into his room to sort out his stuff. His sister has already started arranging his closet in his absence.

“What’s wrong with the way I dress?” Minhyun asks.

His elder sister gives him a head to toe and then a look of disgust. “Everything.”

His entire family is enamored with Aron. Even his father chuckles at Aaron’s jokes when they invite him to join them for dinner. 

( It’s hard not to be. )

Minhyun stares at his closet then at the text Sujin sent.

_You’re welcome._

Two words that his sister believes absolves her of completely replacing Minhyun’s closet with her choices. Gone are those comfortable hoodies and baggy sweatpants.

“This is nice,” Aron whistles under his breath, drawing Minhyun’s attention. Aron takes out a leather jacket. Since when was Minhyun the type to even wear a jacket like that?

_You’re a waste of your height_, Sujin once told Minhyun.

“Do you mind if I borrow it some time?” Aron asks.

Minhyun swallows at the thought of Aron in his clothes and nods.

Aron beams at him. “Thank you, Minhyun.” He puts it back onto the rack, politely glancing at the contents of Minhyun’s closet before Minhyun gestures for Aron to browse as he likes.

Aron is running his hands over a brown sweater when he says: “you’re really nice. Your entire family is. I can see where it comes from.”

Minhyun isn’t sure what his facial expression is but it probably isn’t entirely pleasant because Aron laughs and puts a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “I mean it in a good way. I’m glad I asked you to be my roommate.”

“You’re only saying that because you got a free meal,” Minhyun retorts but is unable to fight his smile.

“Hey,” Aron protests. “I offered to pay. So close to paying but your mom slapped my credit card out of my hand.”

They fall into laughter at that.

_Thanks_ Minhyun replies to his sister later that night.

The room is quiet. Minhyun almost misses Dongho’s light snores. When Aron said roommate Minhyun didn’t think it would be an apartment with two separate rooms.

It makes sense in a way. Housemates is too much of a mouthful.

Minhyun can’t help but sigh at the lingering disappointment he holds.

Living with Aron, Minhyun wants to argue, isn’t magical. Within the first three days they had to set a few ground rules.

  1. Wash dishes after you use them. Don’t let them pile in the sink.
  2. Please alert your housemate of any visitors — no matter how familiar. So they don’t hear your shower concert sessions.
  3. Please be aware that the walls are thin and the beds creak. Sexile your housemate with a text por favor. Or a sock. Or anything. Noise cancelling headphones while cooped up in your own room is a miserable existence. 
  4. And a weekly cleaning schedule. Divide and conquer.

Except other than this... it kind of is.

Aron asks to borrow Minhyun’s clothes and washes them before returning them. Sometimes he even irons them. Aron’s scent engulfs him like an embrace when he pulls it over his head and wears it for a whole day.

( Aron remarked how silly it was they had their own laundry detergent. But smell is intricately connected to memory so Minhyun will continue this until his detergent runs out. )

Or the nights where they really don’t feel like studying in the library and end up across from each other on the dining table. Aron’s blue tooth speaker quietly playing music in the background. Procrastinating on studying by conversing with one another without the need to have library appropriate noise level.

Those occasional Friday nights where Aron just wants to be a homebody and they curl up on the couch, streaming something using Aron’s Netflix account. Aron has a habit of draping an arm across the back of the sofa. Minhyun makes a joke about leaning against his shoulder. Aron pats his shoulder with confidence and a wicked smile. It then becomes habit. 

( The first few were awful because Minhyun couldn’t hear anything over the sound of his own heartbeat. )

Sometimes Aron gets fed up with cafeteria dinners and makes his own. Always making a serving for Minhyun because “it’s hard to cook for one.” For the most part Minhyun pretends he’s not ogling by placing a textbook before him when Aron is bustling around in the kitchen. Thankfully, working with a knife requires devoted concentration so Minhyun can stare all he wants at the way Aron tendons and muscles flex at every motion.

But as special as these moments may feel — a world only shared between Aron and Minhyun — it is always followed by a shattering realization.

_Hey_

_sorry_

_i have someone over. could you study in the library until 11?_

Minhyun loses his appetite. Part of him wonders who Aron is spending the night with. ( Does it matter? ) And if he would have a better chance if he was a girl. ( As if. )

Minhyun swallows down his self hatred and the whim to go back anyway. Slam the door loud enough to alert people of his presence.

Instead he texts Minki:_ can i stay the night?_

_Always._

_no worries ^ ^_ he replies to Aron even though he knows Aron won’t read it. Not till much, much later followed by his usual apologies._ i’m going to stay at minki’s_

As if Aron would be concerned if Minhyun didn’t return that night.

Minhyun takes his tray to the conveyor belt and wonders if those intermittent moments of happiness were worth it.

“Can I ask you something?” Minhyun asks as he tests Minki’s pillow, kneading it to his liking.

“Hm?” Minki sounds.

“Why aren’t you in a relationship?”

Minki looks up from his phone with a deadpan expression. “Because the world is obsessed with romance and dating and it’s weird that I don’t seem to care for it?”

“No,” Minhyun says immediately. His arms about to come to his own defense. “Not like that.” And then after a while: “I mean maybe.” But not before changing a glance at Minki.

Minki shrugs. “The simple answer is I don’t want to be in one. I went on a few dates.” He waves his hand. “Dinner was nice but everyone seems to have a goal in mind. Whether that means getting into my pants, having someone as an arm accessory, or the misleading idea that dating someone will lead them to happiness.”

Minki gives Minhyun a long look.

“Happiness is an illusion,” Minki starts. “Maybe that’s a bit harsh because it certainly exists but it’s not a fixated thing in life to be obtained.”

“Acquiring X doesn’t mean you’ll be happy for the rest of your life,” Minki explains, “it may increase your mood in that moment and linger for a while but eventually your overall level of happiness settles back to its normal point.”

Minhyun wonders when Minki had gotten so philosophical. Or maybe he has always been but Minhyun has failed to recognize it. What a failure of a friend he is.

“Look at it this way: have you ever had a random moment where you were just _oh I’m happy_ without even expecting it?”

Minhyun thinks about how much he dreaded Aron meeting his parents. It just felt like something uncool. And yet despite the constant flares of embarrassment that swept through him, he was undeniably happy when everyone was having a good time at dinner.

Minhyun nods.

Minki smiles. “Happiness occurs for big and little things.” Then pauses as if to study Minhyun’s face. “Ask yourself: why do you want to enter a relationship?” Minki says a bit quieter this time. “And what do you want out of one?”

Minhyun stops supporting his own weight with his elbow and allows himself to flop onto the pillow. Maybe what Minki is trying to get at is that at some point Minhyun had associated reciprocation from his crush with a misguided sense of happiness. Maybe at Minki’s core, he’s trying to ask if Minhyun likes Aron or likes what a relationship has to offer.

Minhyun sighs because he doesn’t have any answers for Minki’s question.

“I don’t date because I’m happy with how things are,” Minki confesses, “Being with friends makes this feel warm.” Minki points at his chest, drawing a smile from Minhyun’s lips. “Maybe not the fuzzy, fluttering feeling people describe. But I would like to argue it produces the same level of happiness others say can only come from romance.”

“Happily ever afters are lies,” Minki says, “A powerful, hope inducing message. But if you believe in it too deeply, it may just lead to spiraling disappointment.”

“I didn’t mean to make you stay out all night,” Aron says as he rises from where he is seated, expression sheepish. He seems to have been expecting Minhyun. Textbook tossed to the side of the couch and still at the apartment after 11AM.

“I haven’t had a sleepover in a while,” Minhyun says nonchalantly. “Minki is good company.”

“I know but I feel bad,” Aron says rubbing the back of his neck. “This is your apartment too.”

“Let me make it up to you,” Aron says as he walks to the kitchen and lifts the lid on a pot. The scent of braised meat wafts to where Minhyun stands.

Minhyun walks towards it as Aron ladles chunks of meat into a small bowl. Without a doubt it is galbi jjim.

Aron smiles at Minhyun. “I asked your mother for the recipe. The way you like it.”

Minhyun accepts the bowl with both hands, allowing the contents to warm his hands. He takes a bite. It’s perfect.

Minhyun looks at Aron who is still very apologetic.

He doesn’t have answers to Minki’s questions but he also can’t give up on this — not yet.

And so they begin to settle into a routine of sorts.

The day after Aron’s sexual escapades, Minhyun and Aron head into town for breakfast. The pizza parlor, Baked, serves a beautiful breakfast platter of toasted sour dough bread, roasted potatoes, and eggs scrambled with salmon and vegetables from the farmer’s market.

Then they would head back and clean the dorm. Aron is in charge of vacuuming, dust, and garbage. Minhyun takes care of the bathroom and the kitchen.

Before garbage disposal, Aron would try to make a meal so that the waste can be taken care of. Minhyun rolls up his sleeves and joins him. Usually washing or peeling. And then watches in awe as Aron quickly diced and adds sauces without measuring.

The afternoons are lazy. A movie. The show they watch together. A quiet meal occasionally punctured by a Skype call from Minhyun’s mom that Aron joins in as if he’s the Hwang son.

Some nights are cut short as Aron quickly dresses up ( usually borrowing Minhyun’s ) and heads to a party. And Minhyun spends the evening flicking through Aron’s Netflix account before giving up and starting his next assignment.

He can’t help but miss the evenings where Aron is playing a game and allows Minhyun to settle his chin on his shoulder and watch. ( Aron is surprisingly into skin ship, and Minhyun can’t help but use every chance he gets even though it threatens to send him into cardiac arrest. ) Or the days they decide to be good students but Aron ends up with his head in Minhyun’s lap, reading his textbook while throwing possible baking ideas to see if he can tempt Minhyun to abandon being studious. ( It always works. They end up bringing treats to APO meetings on Sunday nights. )

At least some things are privy to only him. Like the mornings where Aron wakes up with a bed head worthy of an award. Utterly disheveled from the binge drinking from the previous night, stalking to the bathroom as his slippers scrape against the floor. Dressed simply in shorts and a t-shirt and scratching his belly. Sometimes hiking it up enough that Minhyun can spot the tattoo etched along his rib. Or the days where an assignment is due and he barely ventures out the apartment. Loses his contacts for his glasses and his stubble grows wild.

And the gym days ( how did he let Aron ever talk him into it ) where Aron hardly sweats as Minhyun almost dies from his allergies and lactate build up in his calves. Somehow managing to look refreshed and charming as always after a work out.

Every two weeks they have a night class for the multidisciplinary European trip that takes place during their winter break. Before those sessions, they divide and conquer the readings, creating short summaries to prep each other before the class. After those sessions, Aron usually takes Minhyun and a few other classmates to drive thru the local burger place.

The perks of living with Aron includes not having to use god awful public transportation for groceries and daily living supplies. And a guaranteed spot in his car for volunteer trips and conferences.

It’s weird, Minhyun reflects. Shaking his head at a particular instance a month ago when they had gone to a regional APO conference. Aron had introduced Minhyun to a friend he had made from a previous conference. Both of them excited about the banquet and dance that always follows a conference while Minhyun made up an excuse to leave. He dreads the dancing portion of the night. It’s not so much that he has two left feet but more of “do you realize you have joints?” ( Jonghyun kindly pointed out in a much nicer way ) sort of ordeal. Minhyun’s repertoire consists impressively of two songs: the Macarena and Cupid shuffle. Either way Minhyun keeps Aron company on the drive home while the rest of them doze off. Exchanging their days and harmonizing over the radio.

It’s weird how quickly you can settle into a routine and how you can’t imagine it to be any other way.

Living with Aron is odd. Minhyun gets to see the surprisingly vulnerable and human sides. Unable to place his crush on some pedestal. And yet the emotions don’t fade either. The disillusionment he waits for never comes.

  
“Have you ever been to Jazz night?” is how Aron introduces him to a restaurant + bar. Minhyun spies a few familiar faces from his courses and a few seniors whose profile graces the walls of their classroom to note their achievement. The sound of tuning instruments fills the restaurant.

Minhyun shakes his head as Aron orders him a Shirley Temple and some chicken tenders with a wink.

“You’ll love it,” Aron promises.

Minhyun sips on his mixed soda. It’s perfect. Maybe Aron is right about the music too. But Minhyun has always liked the ambiance a restaurant has to provide and wonders how it would change when he has to shout to be heard over music.

The first song plays.

Aron is right.

There is no way he can study in this environment. His composition book is abandoned as he stares at the performers. Just students from his college coming here to perform every Thursday, drowning this small shop with jazz.

Minhyun is aware that his jaw is slack and makes no move to correct it. The jazz piano accompanied the saxophone. One of his classmates croons into the mic. The other patrons of this restaurant pause their conversation to listen to the lyrics. Some tap their feet to the beat. Others, like Minhyun, sway to the music.

There’s no need to worry about conversation. It’s unnecessary when appreciating art. In the rare occasion where Minhyun wants to exclaim something, Aron leans forward. And for a moment Minhyun forgets about the music and can only marvel at how the lamp above their table seems to exaggerate the length of Aron’s lashes. The shades of the lamp are of colored glass. A striking difference to the wood of the table and the benches. Minhyun draws a breath, noting how it was Aron who introduced him into this magic space as he leans forward to repeat his comment for Aron to hear.

The trombone does a solo and is met with applause. The piano does a solo riff that transitions seamlessly back into the timeless song they play.

Minhyun falls in love.

Every performer is immersed into the music. So enthusiastic about their performance compared to the stoic classical concerts Minhyun is used to. The way they bring their own energy and infuse it into the song — reclaiming it as theirs.

All of it makes Minhyun’s heart sings.

  
The next day, Minhyun asks Dongho to teach him how to play the piano. Especially the techniques required in jazz piano.

Jazz nights become Minhyun and Aron’s thing every Thursday.

There are some things that can’t be changed. Similar to the way habits die hard, Minhyun’s heart swells the moment he spots Aron. He’s dragging his suitcase behind him, eyes lighting up when he spots familiar faces, and Minhyun meets him half way with a casual _hey_.

It has only been two weeks since Minhyun last saw Aron and yet his heart will not shut the fuck up about how good Aron looks in that Moncler jacket. Hair tousled by the wind as he walked from the domestic terminal to the international one. Aron reaches up to smooth it out. His hair a dark brown, loosely styled. The sleeves of his jacket engulfs his hands so that only the fingertips protrude. He looks prepared for Berlin weather.

Aron is so effortlessly handsome. Minhyun clenches his fist. 

“How was Thanksgiving?” Minhyun asks.

“The usual.”

And before Aron can ask the question, they are interrupted by one of many Aron’s frat brothers on this trip. Of course.

Minhyun takes it as his cue to leave with a wave that Aron acknowledges and scans the group for other familiar faces he could possibly talk to. Funny how it is almost impossible in a group of 20 students that he has spent a semester ( half of a semester really ) with. Even funnier how two weeks ago Aron seemed to be so close when they lived under the same roof. Now it feels like they’ve reverted back a year.

Minhyun sees Joshua from choir trudge in with a white scarf obscuring half his face and decides to go say hi.

What makes matter worse isn’t the flight where Minhyun is cramped in a middle seat. Or how both arm rests get occupied by others. Or Aron sitting rows away and the movie selection is abysmal.

It’s not even the fact that after the cramped 10 hour flight, they were offloaded into a tiny airport ( technically tiny because it is under reconstruction ), shuffled through immigration in long lines, and clamored onto the airport shuttle that was already half full. Minhyun almost didn’t make it. Some of the passengers shot him dirty looks as if telling him to take the next one. But the professors kept calling his name and telling him to hurry up. Despite there being three of them, they couldn’t spare any to take a batch of students to the hotel later. If it wasn’t for Aron hoisting up Minhyun’s clunky duffel suitcase, the bus driver probably would have closed the doors and driven off — despite his professors’ protests.

Things take a turn for the worse at the hotel.

The professors tell them to choose and split into rooms of three. Immediately, Minhyun turns towards Aron and is met with a: “Sorry, Minhyun. We already decided.”

Aron nods in the direction of his fraternity brothers. Christian, Minhyun identifies from their occasional study sessions, has an arm slung around Aron. The other he can only vaguely recall as a face he’s seen in passing, stands by their side.

They aren’t even close. Aron certainly doesn’t hang out with that guy.

The apologetic look Aron gives him doesn’t make things easier.

What else can Minhyun do but slap a smile on his face and say: “Oh. That’s fine.” As if it didn’t sting. And quickly scamper off to save what little remains of his dignity.

“If you don’t mind,” Joshua says like an angel ( or Minhyun’s substitute fairy godmother because the first one is doing such a poor job ), “would you like to room with me and Kenta?”

“Yes,” Minhyun exhales with relief, hoping the red in his face has started to recede, “that would be wonderful.” He smiles at Kenta who returns it with a grin of his own.

“Thank you,” Minhyun says quieter this time. If Joshua understands what it is in reference to, he doesn’t make a scene of it. Just pats Minhyun’s arm with a gentle smile.

It’s still early. Most of the city is just getting ready to go to work. Their professors have told them to settle a bit and meet in an hour. Then they’ll head to the local bakery the history professor spends a majority of his summers in, trying to finish his book on the weaponry of World War I.

The room is decently sized. Certainly not impressive. Would have had more space if a single bed wasn’t crammed at the foot of the full sized bed. Kenta and Joshua nod at Minhyun to take it. He doesn’t think he deserves such acts of kindness and wonders what he can do to repay them.

He unpacks his suitcase as Kenta slips into the shower. Kenta mouths a thank you. It’s the least Minhyun can do.

He fishes out his iPad and quickly alerts his family of his arrival.

Joshua sits on his side of the full sized bed, Kenta’s clothes still strewn out on his side. When their gaze meets, Joshua smiles. It’s the same open and welcoming one that Joshua seems to always wear. As if one could trouble him with anything and he would accept them as they are.

Minhyun sits on his bed, quickly averting his gaze to his iPad. But there’s only so much he can do before the moments from this long day threaten to crawl back into his mind. Minhyun lifts his head and looks out the window.

The curtains are thin and white, allowing the rising sun to pour in from the tall windows. The height of the windows seemingly a feature length of this street as the building across from them sports the same look. All buildings identical spare for the brick or cobblestone facade used. It reminds Minhyun how far from home he is.

Maybe because everything is foreign. Maybe that’s why he feels so alone.

The scent of fresh baked bread wafts out the moment one of the professors open the door. Inside is a long line of customers, ordering their breakfast as one of the employees quickly grabs the selected bread. It’s the coffee line that seems to be holding everyone up.

Minhyun braves a look in Aron’s direction who catches his gaze and take it as an opportunity to walk over. Smile easy as always.

( Something rises in Minhyun’s throat. But he swallows it down as always. )

“How do you like your room?” Aron asks.

“I don’t think we have a say when 80% of this trip is subsidized by school programming and German government,” Minhyun quips.

The chuckle that comes forth from Aron makes him smile.

And just as quickly as Aron came, he leaves Minhyun’s side as soon as one of his friends call for him.

Minhyun orders a chocolate croissant and a hot chocolate. And almost forgets about his sorrows in that first bite when chocolate bursts forth and floods his palette. Almost.

The rest of the day continues like that. As if all progress has been scrubbed clean. As if Minhyun had accidentally restarted one of his sister’s otome games when she had almost won her best boy’s heart.

Their German professor takes them to different parts of Berlin via subway. Their history professor does a brief introduction by contexualizing the site. And their political science professor fills in the gaps.

Minhyun stands with his roommates. Occasionally, Minhyun and Aron’s eyes meet. But it is that same sort of distance and aloofness acquaintances hold.

It comes to a breaking point at Kaiser Wilhelm Memorial Church.

The sun was about to set. Most of the class probably wondered why they were going inside of a drab concrete building this late. But once inside it was as if being baptized by blue light. The tainted windows of just one shade as if to accentuate the golden figure of Jesus that hangs before the alter. The employees of the church light the candles as the sun sinks.

Aron stands halfway between the alter and the church entrance, back facing Minhyun as he raises his camera and snaps away.

This is all the significance Minhyun will ever amount to. A convenience. A lesser friend. Never the first ( or even second ) choice.

So why ruin a trip abroad by wasting your time caring about someone who cares so little of you?

Dinner becomes much easier. Kenta has a way of bringing people together. The group of his class that sits with him becomes less intimidating as the night wanes. Exchanging their schnitzels and bratwursts and pieces of themselves with one another.

The mood is so exuberant that their professors even offer to buy a round of drinks.

When a glass of beer is placed in front of Minhyun, he is about to politely refuse when Aron turns around from his table and takes it with a wink. Saving Minhyun as an unsolicited black knight.

How quickly Minhyun’s resolve breaks.

Minhyun lies on his bed, hair freshly dried, heart quickening as a notification pops up on his phone. He takes a moment to listen to the bathroom, noting how the water is still running, before he braves clicking on the link.

Kenta is out with a friend. Joshua seems to still be in the middle of his shower routine. It should give him enough time.

It opens up in an app. Three boys in the center of a snowfield. Piano in the background.

The bathroom door opens. A towel in Joshua’s hair as his eyes grow wide. “Is that EXO’s new song?”

Minhyun presses paused, almost embarrassed as he nods.

“Do you mind if I—?” Joshua gestures at Minhyun’s bed.

Minhyun would have if this was back home or in his dorm. But everything in a hotel is dirty so he doesn’t mind and quickly shifts to make room for Joshua. He pats the spot beside him as he pulls out his iPad. Choosing to load the music video there.

“12월의 기적,” Joshua reads under his breath after he plops down beside Minhyun, “I’ve been waiting for this.”

Minhyun nods. “So have I.”

They sit in silence, trying to keep all the squealing internal as the four minutes passes. Without a word, they glance at each other, and click the replay button.

Of all the things he looked forward to on this trip, gaining a new close friend turns out to a delightful surprise.

There’s a bit of delay the next morning despite a full schedule to accomplish. Reichstag, Tiergarten, Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe, Berlin Wall Memorial, and Checkpoint Charlie — just to name a few. Thankfully after yesterday's lecture at Humbolt University, they won’t have to sit through anymore until Istanbul.

The political science professor and his wife guide the majority of the group to their first destination. The other two stay behind for unknown reasons. With a small group that includes Aron.

Minhyun doesn’t think too much of it.

“Turns out,” one of the girls whisper scandalously as Minhyun takes a bite of Joshua’s currywurst. Just as the German professor had said, Minhyun doesn’t see why it is a popular street food. Minhyun’s döner on the other hand is delicious. “Those boys from SigChi slipped out last night to go to a club. Didn’t know that they would get locked out and had to alert the professors to get let in.”

“Were they punished?” Joshua asks in concern.

Minhyun wonders what it would be. Certainly, sending them back home on day 2 of the trip would be too drastic. Besides, the group of them are here. Just in lower spirits than usual.

“Dunno,” the girl shrugs, “all I heard was that the professors gave them a huge lecture.”

“This course and this trip is their dream,” Minhyun remarks, recalling how the professors have said that repeatedly over the last semester. They had been hired by the college around the same time and hit it off. Always wanted to somehow do an interdisciplinary course and work together despite being in such separate departments. This trip is an amalgamation of years of hard work in gathering permission and funding only for some college kids to prioritize their pleasure and possibly blow it on the first night.

Joshua nods.

Soon after the lunch break and before they head to their next destination, the professors gather them together and give them a short lecture about responsibility. Especially notifying the three of them as they are chaperones on this trip.

“I don’t care if you go out or drink,” one of them says in exasperation.

“I understand why you would at your age,” another chimes in.

“But we are responsible for you on this trip. So tell us where you are,” the first one finishes.

Minhyun glances at Aron. His gaze is a bit downcast as if disappointed in himself.

The distance only seems to grow wider.

Minhyun lounges in his chair. The music that drifts through the speakers overhead isn’t the sole party that crafts the ambiance of this small café. It is the comfortable tall chairs that look like they belong in library nooks and the small wooden tea tables before it. The occasional hiss of the steamer from the counter not too far away. The large glass windows that allow natural light to mingle with the warm orange lights within. And the small cabinet of desserts enticing customers to imagine how well they would pair with the coffee in hand.

The professors have ushered them into this small coffee shop seemingly as an apology. Although earlier’s lectures were necessary, the day’s journey probably had everyone weary. A little caffeination was required before another group dinner. That is until one of them orders a beer and a small dessert that most students change their minds about coffee. Even Minhyun has opted to try something new.

The booklet of drinks is lengthy. Minhyun finds himself fascinated by the two pages worth of cocktails. How elaborate they seem to be with their lines of ingredients. How fancy with their names.

Minhyun orders a Singapore Sling Swing ( their take on a Singapore Sling, whatever that may be ) and takes a sip. It tastes like a fancy flavored sprite. Minhyun wonders if there really is any alcohol in it as he drinks half of it, delighting himself in how good it tastes.

“You should slow down,” Joshua notes after a sip of his flat white.

Embarrassed, Minhyun sets it down. “Would you like a sip?” he offers. “It’s really good.”

Joshua shakes his head. And then changes the topic.

“I’m trying to figure out what to do for my project,” Joshua says, “Soon we’ll have free time to gather materials for our projects. Have you thought about yours yet?”

So this, along with the many other things, must be why he and Joshua gets along so well. Usually, Minhyun probably would have done the same: planned out his project for this course early on. But as Minki has said, repeatedly, it isn’t due until the end of the next term. How many chances does Minhyun have to visit Europe like this? Might as well enjoy it while he is there.

However, Minhyun understands where Joshua is coming from. Failing to collect the appropriate source material here and scrambling to do so back home would be a nightmare. After all, most people don’t have the resources to fly across the ocean just for a homework assignment. So he says what he and Aron had discussed before winter break.

_“I really want to do a photography portfolio,” Aron says as he wipes his camera lens clean. “And maybe include it with a reflective curation, as if I was holding a private exhibition.”_

_Minhyun had only watched Aron in awe. He was thinking of a research paper and didn’t even imagine a creative approach. How else was he supposed to tackle the immigration situation in Germany or the continued tensions despite the fall of the wall in a reunified Germany?_

_“Or,” Aron continues, “I could do a newspaper article where I take a current event and tackle it from a geopolitical perspective with contextulaization through historical lenses.”_

_“But it’s something I always do,” Aron remarks, referring to the school newspaper articles, “I want to try something new. What about you?”_

_Minhyun swallowed and said something along the lines of ( hoping not to sound dumb or boring ):_

“A travel blog? Or maybe one of those travel magazine articles you often see on flights.”

“Hm,” Joshua sounds as he takes another sip of coffee. “That’s not a bad idea.”

Minhyun picks up his drink and sips on it to occupy himself.

Joshua chuckles quietly at his phone. Kenta is once again not in their room. Minhyun looks up at Joshua out of curiosity. Joshua takes it as an invitation, gets out of his bed, and sits on Minhyun’s.

“My best friend is infatuated with this underclassman,” Joshua says as he shows Minhyun a post from instagram. It looks very innocent. Flowers, trees, a river. Captured to flaunt the scenery. But the last one is of a boy crouched in front of a flower bed, capturing the tulips with his phone.

There’s no caption. There doesn’t need to be.

“The thing is,” Joshua says with a sigh, “he doesn’t even know it.”

Minhyun frowns. “Your friend?”

“Well neither does the underclassman. Unless he picked up on it and is too polite to say something about it. But yes,” Joshua nods, “my friend.”

“He’s handsome,” Minhyun remarks, taking another glance at the last photo in the set.

Joshua nods. “Wonwoo is. But that isn’t why Seungcheol likes him. Something about shared interests. Seungcheol insisted that he just treats Wonwoo like any other underclassman he dotes on but it’s different. He’s happier. Smiles a lot more. The smallest thing he does makes Seungcheol laugh and Seungcheol will not shut up about him sometimes,” Joshua says with a laugh. “You know he’s in deep when he’s a dog person and yet goes to the cat side of the animal shelter with Wonwoo.”

Although Minhyun sympathizes with Seunghceol, he takes a look at his friend’s face. “You two sound close.”

Joshua smiles. “We are. Last year Jeonghan, Seungcheol, and I were part of the same dorm with different roommates. We hit it off ever since and now the three of us live together.” Joshua touches the silver cross on the cartilage of his ear. “We got this together. He has the other cross,” Joshua says with a small chuckle.

Minhyun knits his brows together. And maybe it is the lingering effects of alcohol, although he feels quite sober. Or maybe just how quickly Joshua has accepted him that allows Minhyun to be a little bolder and brave asking: “Do you like...?”

Which gets interrupted by a fit of laugh from Joshua. “Oh no,” Joshua says shaking his hands, “no. I can see why you would think that but no.”

“I already had piercings and he wanted one but was too afraid to go alone, so I went with him,” Joshua explains.

Minhyun touches his ear lobe, pad of his finger brushing against the hole that has now healed over.

“He’s a really good friend of mine and I want him to be happy. It’s just ridiculous of how unaware he is of himself,” Joshua says. His eyes are warm and loving. Somehow it reminds Minhyun of Minki and wonders if he is also this pathetic in Minki’s eyes. Probably.

“Even if he doesn’t figure it out at least he’ll always have you watching out for him,” Minhyun says.

“And no matter what form your happiness comes in,” Minhyun says thinking of Minki’s words, “I hope you find happiness too.”

Joshua leans forward and folds Minhyun into a hug.

“Thank you,” he says into Minhyun’s ear, “I’m glad I asked you to room with us.”

“I do too,” Minhyun replies with a smile.

That night after an exquisite meal at a biergarten, they walk to the local Christmas market.

It’s beautiful. Small stalls flanking the walk way. Wooden fronts with tops dusted with fake snow. People huddled around standing tables and conversing. Or standing close to the heaters for warmth. A small merry go around for children. And lights that string the sky line and every stall.

Most vendors sell the same thing. At least four of them sell hot drinks. Some with Christmas ornaments. Others with gingerbread in a variety of shapes and sizes. Some food stalls.

Their professor introduces them to glühwein and offers to buy a round for everyone. The mulled wine smells offensively like wine. Imbibing it doesn’t really make much of a difference. Minhyun grimaces at the warm drink in his hands

But then he gets distracted. Aron stands about a feet away. Neck ducking under the collar of his long black coat. Leather gloves that match his outfit warm his hands as he cups the glühwein between them. The lights above highlight his hair into a shade of darker brown, accentuating his long lashes and high cheekbones.

It’s simple but breathtaking.

He’s startled when Aron looks at him. Minhyun fumbles to quickly hide how he was staring, turning to face the table he’s closest to.

Minhyun is too late. A soft chuckle comes from behind him. One so familiar and yet he hasn’t heard for a while.

“You hate it that much huh,” Aron remarks, taking a quick glimpse at the contents of Minhyun’s cup.

Minhyun nods.

Aron’s is almost empty.

“Here,” Aron says as he finishes his mulled wine and swaps their cups. “Now you don’t have to worry about discreetly discarding our professors’ kind offer,” Aron adds with yet another wink.

“Thank you,” Minhyun finds himself saying. Aron really does know him well enough.

Aron rejoins his friends.

Minhyun holds the empty paper cup.

Today happens to be one of the free days. Which is why Minhyun is surprised when Aron approaches him to invite him to grab dinner — just the two of them.

Minhyun almost scoffs at how they have come all the way to Germany to eat at a Japanese restaurant. But he keeps his comments to himself as he bows slightly at the kind waitress that shows them to their seat in this small store. So small it is only manned by that one waitress and one chef.

“I’m sorry,” Aron says moments after they finish ordering.

Normally Minhyun quickly say that Aron has nothing to apologize for. Today he keeps quiet as if evaluating whether or not Aron would expand on the apology.

Aron picks up on the lack of response and adds: “for the way I treated you for the past couple of days. You don’t deserve that.”

Minhyun takes a sip of water instead of his normal forgiveness spiel. Minki would be proud of him.

Aron, sensing that he can’t weasel his way out of this one with his normal half-assed apology, continues. “I don’t know how to bridge my different groups of friends. Not well at least.” Aron sighs. “Joel was the one who integrated you into our study sessions. And most of the guys we study with are chill.”

“Brad is one of those kids who don’t understand APO. Scoff at it. Sometimes bordering ridicule,” Aron says. Minhyun frowns. No wonder he’s only seen that face in passing. “Wonders why I don’t live, breathe, and eat SigChi. Questions my loyalty.” Aron waves a hand. “I could lie and say that I didn’t want you to come under his fire if we hung out together but the truth is I show people different sides of me. You’ve seen more sides of me than most people have and I guess part of me was uncomfortable with the idea of you seeing the me that hangs out with Brad.”

Minhyun raises his eyebrows in question.

Aron covers his mouth with his hands and leans forward to whisper salaciously: “Imagine the most toxic Beta.” Minhyun conjures up the image of a classic frat boy down to misogyny and rampant bigotry.

“I didn’t want you to hate me. And I guess I also wanted my brothers to like me — at least for this trip.” Aron sighs. “I’m not trying to excuse my behavior. I know I was really unfair to you and I’m sorry. I don’t even expect you to forgive me,” Aron says as he meets Minhyun’s eyes. They are earnest and sincere and Minhyun finds it more unfair that Aron is pairing that look with his apology.

“You’re just a very dear friend of mine and I didn’t want our friendship to suffer.”

Just because it is true doesn’t make reality sting a little less.

Minhyun allows his lips to curl in a semblance of a smile. He could say many things in response but chooses to reach forward and place his hand over Aron’s. He gives it a little squeeze.

Aron flips his hand over and holds Minhyun’s. In an act that registers as intimate to Minhyun so he tries to shut down his mind that threatens to run a hundred miles an hour. It’s his fault for choosing to convey his thoughts in this way.

Thankfully, he’s rescued by the waitress that brings their orders. Their hands fly apart and settle on their respective laps as they thank her.

Aron splits his chopsticks and asks: “so are we okay?”

Minhyun studies Aron for a moment. “Wasn’t that my reply to you?” he counters.

Aron grins that grin of his ( that devastatingly handsome one ) and says: “I would still like verbal confirmation, if you don’t mind.”

“Yeah,” Minhyun says quickly, “we’re good.” As if there was any other option. Minhyun ducks his head and slurps his udon as Aron chuckles.

They spend the rest of the dinner catching up on Aron’s adventures and browsing through the photographs on Aron’s camera. Not only did Aron manage to capture some interesting angles of the TV Tower and Charlottenburg Palace but also managed to make Tempelhof Airport almost worth visiting.

The itinerary for the trip is weird. Purposefully scheduled this way so that after the trip to Turkey, students would better appreciate the political contentions when they return and visit the pockets of Berlin that have a higher percentage of immigrants.

Point is they wake at the crack of dawn and spend half a day trying to get to Istanbul. Then another hour combatting the public transport situation. Trying very hard not to fall over and kill anyone by accident from how cramped it is. And then trekking around to find their inn. Which is almost impossible. The roads, despite the area being targeted towards tourists, are steep slopes and not well maintained. The whole line of students drag their suitcases behind them as the professors consult the map and locals.

When they make it to the inn, it is past noon. There aren’t enough rooms for everyone either, Minhyun finds out when everyone has dispersed with a key in hand. Leaving only Joshua and himself at the front desk with one of their professors reasoning with the clerk at the front desk and the other trying reassure the two of them.

Joshua and Minhyun look at each other and wait.

There are a series of phone calls.

Soon, the professor smiles triumphantly when he turns around. The clerk takes two keys and hands one to Minhyun and the other to Joshua.

“The two of you are very lucky,” the professor says, “they asked other clients to relocate to one of their other inns so this building is ours for the next week. Each of you get a single room.”

They thank their professors and walk down to the basement level. Their doors facing each other.

“I guess this is it,” Minhyun says solemnly.

It prompts Joshua into a fit of laughter. “I know you are both a choir kid and a drama kid,” jabbing at Minhyun’s penchant for theatrics, “but you aren’t getting rid of me yet. We’ll room together when we head back to Berlin.”

“And,” Joshua adds when he opens his door, “if you ever get lonely I’m right here.”

Minhyun chuckles in response and opens his own room.

He really did luck out. A fully furnished suite that reminds Minhyun of his parent’s master bedroom. The only downside is the lack of a window. The only one being a small rectangle that only shows the shoes of pedestrians walking by.

Istanbul is vibrant in a way Berlin is not. Minhyun wonders if it is because it is closer to Asia or because of its history. Either way, there’s a livelihood to Istanbul that Berlin lacks. Whether that be because each morning begins with a reminder of prayer or the colorful lanterns that hang above the hookah lounge — it’s just different.

Or maybe because it’s a coastal city. The slopes of concrete and houses open into the Bosphorus Strait. Where the sun catches the water and seems to dance upon its surface, twinkling from afar. Whatever it is, Minhyun is quickly enchanted by this ancient city.

As expected, they hit all the touristy spots in the first few days: Hagia Sophia, a brief venture into Topkapi Palace for the Archeological Museum, Basilica Cistern, Grand Bazaar, and the Blue Mosque. This is interspersed by culinary adventures.

Their professor take them to a well known place that serves Iskembe. Most individuals are unable to tolerate the tripe soup. Minhyun is fine with it but gets defeated by Aryan. He’s just not used to his yogurt being salty. They try Anatolian cuisine, gorge on kebabs, and guzzle down tea. But it’s the desserts Minhyun loves the most.

One night, their professor tries to show them his favorite place. Somewhere that still made Turkish dessert the way his grandmother did. Not one of those mass produced chain restaurants that have claimed the inner city.

It was a hike to get there. Half of the group were puffed and dubious as to whether or not this journey was worth it. The other half just obediently trudged onwards. Most of them chickened out by the time they reached the small shop when the professor explained that it was a traditional Turkish milk pudding made from shredded chicken breast. The shop was preparing to close. Minhyun bought one.

The experience of tavuk göğsü is hard to describe. Maybe because of the apprehension in regards to the chicken breast ingredient. But really, it’s only there for texture. Everything else is like a milk pudding. Just richer. With a dash of cinnamon powder. It’s delicious. And before Minhyun can even think to offer it for others to try, he already has finished it. 

This, paired with the sight of Istanbul below, makes it an unforgettable experience.

The trip in search of this chicken milk pudding was excruciating for Aron, having to carry his camera up steep hills with no end in sight. Aron didn’t even care for sweets, which made each step that much heavier.

But it was worth it.

The shop was located at the top of the highest hill. A few meters away was a staircase that led down towards coastal residences that faced the Bosphorus Strait. From the vantage point at the top of the stairs, the Blue Mosque seems just a swim away.

The sun had already began its descent as they hiked. Only a few streaks of orange are left as the world is engulfed by a rich blue. The Blue Mosque seems to blend with the sky above and the water behind.

There are individuals on the staircase. Most of them locals staring out into this scene of Istanbul sprawled out before them with their dinner in their laps. Others have cans of beers ready. Distinctive features of individuals blend into silhouettes as the day comes to a close.

Aron raises his camera, focusing on one particular figure who seems to be absorbing the scenery before him. The breeze gently tousling his hair. A half smile on his lips.

The shutters snap shut.

“Why did you take so many pictures of Minhyun?” Christian asks. His legs are crossed as he sits in Aron’s bed, screening all of Aron’s photos like a true photographer friend.

He turns the camera around, showing Aron the most recent one of Minhyun against the glory of Istanbul’s dusk.

He then flicks to another one. This is yet another candid of Minhyun at the bazaar.

Another click, another candid.

“I don’t know,” Aron says because he really doesn’t. And shrugs. Maybe it’s because “he’s tall like a model. His face isn’t half bad.”

“Isn’t half bad?” Christian parrots with a scoff. “He’s handsome. Just has some baby fat in his cheeks that will disappear in time.”

Aron looks at Christian in an _ok if you say so_ dismissive look.

Minhyun is surprised when he sees Aron during breakfast. He always comes much later with his friends, when Minhyun is about to leave. But today he sits alone. The sun has risen but just barely, casting a vibrant halo around Aron who scoops a spoonful of yogurt.

Minhyun grabs bread, yogurt, and a few hard boiled eggs before he walks towards Aron.

“Do you mind if I join you?” he asks.

Aron looks up at him, eyes narrowing. “Why are you being so formal? Of course you can join me.”

Minhyun merely shrugs. Refusing to mention how despite that apology dinner they had in Berlin, the same distance has been maintained. He sits.

“I’m surprised to see you alone,” he comments.

“Christian wanted to sleep in,” Aron says as he stirs his yogurt, “and ever since Brad got his own room, I haven’t had to deal with him, thank god.”

Minhyun chuckles. Aron smiles.

“Aren’t you tired of the same breakfast foods?” Minhyun nods at the selection of breakfast that hardly seems to change despite being in an entirely different country.

Aron nods.

Minhyun stabs his yogurt. “I like how rich it is but I’m tired of the same flavors.” He stirs in the strawberry jam and turns the white yogurt pink.

“Try honey,” Aron advises. He spoons a mouthful and holds it out for Minhyun. “Here.”

Minhyun is about to reach over to take the spoon from Aron when Aron motions for Minhyun to just eat it. So Minhyun leans forward and cleans the yogurt off Aron’s spoon.

“Not bad,” Minhyun allows, covering his mouth in politeness. Most of it has to do with obscuring whatever expression he wears in this moment.

Time has flown by in Istanbul. The professors decide to have their last meal of sorts be at one of the dessert chains they shunned earlier on this week. Culture comes in many forms and sometimes it is easier to sample it all at once. The familiar baklava and Turkish delights make their appearance. Their rendition of tavuk göğsü. Minhyun can see why that professor of his insisted on the hike. A disappointment really, in comparison. Then they dish out kazandibi with its milky taste, thick texture contrary to regular puddings, and a burnt appearance. Tulumba is an instant hit amongst his cohort — one can never go wrong with deep fried dough. Halva reminds Minhyun of something he had before but also different. Maybe because of the pistachios. Kadayif and künefe both have that crunchy noodle texture to them. All paired with the classic tea.

Minhyun forgoes his usual two sugar cubes as he takes a sip between desserts to better savor them.

Aron takes a cautious sip of the tea and eyes Minhyun.

“What?” Minhyun asks between bites.

“I don’t know how you can stand something this sweet,” he says.

Minhyun swaps their plates. “You’re the only one complaining,” Minhyun points out, gesturing at the rest of the class who are devouring the desserts in sight. “And I’m eating for two.”

The edge of Aron’s lip curls. Minhyun realizes how that sounds but sends a glare as if to dare Aron to comment on it.

“I just don’t like sweets,” Aron says, taking another sip of tea as he watches Minhyun finish yet another plate.

“Yes,” Minhyun recalls, “should I go to the kitchen and ask for a bottle of salt so you could enjoy this afternoon dessert adventure with the rest of us?”

Aron sputters on his tea. Thankfully, he sets it down before anything else can go wrong.

“You taste it too many times for it to be _sampling_,” Minhyun says as he notes the way Aron’s expression is growing increasingly flustered. It’s funny because it isn’t that embarrassing of an act. Minhyun can think of things he’s done that are far more humiliating. Lying about stealing a bike to impress his friends for instance.

“Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me,” Minhyun adds with a wink.

The wink must have gone wrong because Aron laughs at his attempt. It’s probably the good mood from the sugar he ingested that instead of reacting with anger or embarrassment, something in his heart blossoms, causing him to smile instead.

For a man who doesn’t care for sweets, he sure finds himself often in a situation where it is present — Minhyun notes as Aron sits across from him looking unimpressed at the slice of zwetchenkuchen before them.

The return to Berlin has been a whirlwind of museum visits. Probably why they are taking a break near museum island. Or more accurately, using as a meeting point after professors purchased tickets and everyone split off to stroll through the one of five museums of their choice. Minhyun, obviously, chose the Pergamon for its unique interactive approach in the recreation of three ancient sites. Yet despite all the time he spent there, he was one of the first to arrive at the café. He suspects the rest are either nerds or have taken the time to do some leisure shopping.

Here he finds his professors and Aron. It’s Aron who invites him to sit after a professor strongly recommends the classic German dessert.

“Don’t look at it like that,” Minhyun chastizes.

“Like what?” Aron retorts.

“Like it personally injured you,” Minhyun replies.

“It’s going to assault my taste buds in a few moments,” Aron grumbles.

Minhyun pulls the plate towards him. “No one is forcing you to eat it,” he says.

“Yeah but,” Aron leans forward to whisper, “he looks so excited about us trying and providing feedback.” He gestures in the direction of their German professor.

“How thoughtful and self sacrificing you are,” Minhyun teases.

“Oh I know,” Aron says playfully, brandishing his fork for extra measure as he cuts a small piece of the cake for himself. “Not all heroes wear capes.” He shovels the piece of cake into his mouth.

Minhyun almost rolls his eyes. Hands Aron a napkin instead for the plum sauce and crumbs that messily cling to his lips.

Minhyun finishes the rest as they recount the souvenirs they have purchased for friends. Devising plans to pretend to go back empty handed before surprising Nu’est with the gifts.

It is then that Aron remarks: “we have so many episodes to catch up on.” Referring to all the shows binged in the comfort of their shared apartment. Something stirs in Minhyun. Something primal.

“You waited?”

Aron looks at him incredulously. “What do you take me for?”

Many things, apparently. Now he adds loyal roommate to the list.

You can blame a lot of things on the taste of hops on your tongue. Like the way Aron is draped all over Minhyun right now smelling like five beers. And really, who’s fault is it but Minhyun’s?

As a celebration of their last night on this trip, the professors brought them to Markthalle Neun where on Thursday’s, instead of their day markets, they extend their hours into the night. The lights create a sort of festive atmosphere filled with alcohol, conversations, and food. Therefore, each student gets three tickets. One for each type of beer from the local brewery. Or if you’re that keen, three of one kind of beer.

So Minhyun is half way into his dark ale and absolutely hates it. Chatting with Joshua about how much he dislikes it but can’t bear to pour it out after that tour of the brewery. Listening to the owner talking about how he made his first batches at home. Everything an experimental startup when he didn’t have much in his wallet — just passion.

Aron has just finished his first, not even tipsy, when he decided to save Minhyun from the wretched dark beer. And then rescues Minhyun from the coupons too, making sure to order different types so that Minhyun can try a sip of each.

Which is why he’s currently in this predicament.

After finishing his second drink, Aron decided to check out all the stalls and buy something to eat with a third drink in hand. He finishes it by the time they make their purchase. The fourth is paired with their meal. And now, post fifth: Aron’s cheek is against Minhyun’s shoulder, one hand seeking to interlace with Minhyun’s.

Minhyun knows that Aron is big on skin ship. Seen similar behavior displayed towards his frat brothers and Minki. But Minhyun had never been a subject to them until now.

( Part of him hopes it’ll never stop. )

Christian pushes a bottle of water in their direction. Minhyun mouths a thank you. But every attempt to sober or alleviate tomorrow’s imminent headache is thwarted by an Aron that pouts and ducks his head into Minhyun’s shoulder.

If this was anyone else, Minhyun would have long shrugged them off instead of thinking _cute_. And so Aron stays.

Minhyun files it under _just roommate things_ to process for much much later.

“Why are you so excited about taking the same class? You live with him and see him every day,” Minki says. The low quality of the Skype call renders Minki’s expression indecipherable. A _Merry Christmas_ text turned into a 2 hour Skype call, not that Minhyun is complaining. He’s missed his Big but don’t tell Minki that.

“It’s different,” Minhyun protests with a whine.

Last semester when they were selecting for next term’s courses, Minhyun and Aron’s casual dinner conversation took a turn into prerequisites for graduation yet to be fulfilled. Liberal arts colleges and their insistence of a well rounded education. STEM majors can’t avoid humanities and the arts. Everyone must have a language and science requirement satisfied to get a diploma. Thankfully, someone put out a biology course for non science students. Either way Aron asked if Minhyun would like to take the course with him and Minhyun said yes — wondering if Aron is class is different from the Aron he’s familiar with.

“Didn’t the two of you already take a class together? You know, the half credit, bi-weekly course that allowed you to go to Berlin and Istanbul?” Minki continues.

“Yes but it was a small classroom with lots of discussion so you couldn’t make small talk in class—”

“Or pass notes,” Minki interrupts Minhyun rudely. As if realizing his action or maybe suspecting how Minhyun is probably pouting, Minki says: “continue.”

“We sat together but it was late at night and no one has any energy after dinner,” Minhyun reasons. “And yeah... maybe I did want to whisper in his ear and make him laugh when the lecturer is being so boring he’s on the verge of dozing off,” Minhyun admits, tempted to bury his head into his pillow.

Minki leans forward, squinting at his laptop, trying to figure out if Minhyun’s ears are red. ( They definitely are. )

“You’re hopeless,” Minki says affectionately with a shake of his head and a soft sigh.

Minhyun mutters “shut up” without really meaning it. Minki’s honesty is his best trait.

“You do know that Aron is a morosexual right?” Minki asks. “Go up to him. Say you don’t understand what the professor lectured on and ask if he’s willing to help. Bam: his number. Works like a charm,” Minki says. “PiPhis claim it is fool proof.”

Minhyun eyes widen. “What?”

Minki nods. “But if you make a move on him he’ll politely turn you down, direct you to tutoring services, and block your number.” Minki follows that with a shrug.

Minhyun falls silent.

The conversation shifts.

Later. Much later, Minhyun says “I’m not going to make a move on him” so quietly it seems as if it is mostly to himself.

“I know,” Minki says, “I just wanted you to be aware.” And then quickly follows that up with: “the competition for Kwak tutor.”

Minhyun smiles at Minki’s attempt to cheer him up. But he already knew the implications the moment he agreed to be Aron’s roommate. Some privileges come with a fair bit of restrictions in fine print.

Winter semester always starts the Monday after New Years. It is cruel but trimesters are run on a tight schedule.

So the day he arrives, Aron picks him up from the airport and they decide to celebrate the new year with dinner at a restaurant.

It’s nice: catching up on what they did over the holidays, filling in what took place after they last saw each other, and settling back into the roommate routine they’ve established in the first semester.

The drive home involves some karaoke-ing at the top of their lungs. A duet that would make his choir teacher cry. And Minhyun’s attempt at harmonization that pales in comparison to what Dongho can accomplish. He’ll work on it until Dongho weeps in envy and begs Minhyun to sing with him.

Minhyun power walks from his 8am lecture to the biology for non science majors, praying he’ll be able to find a good seat.

The lecture hall is only slowly filling up when Minhyun gets there. A bit stunned at first because his college is so small the “lecture” halls he’s used to have a max capacity of 40 students. But this one in the science building could probably seat hundreds.

He does a quick scan. Aron hasn’t arrived yet.

Quickly, he finds a seat five rows from the very front. Far enough to be comfortable but close enough to see the projector screen _and_ chalk boards.

Minhyun fidgets. Wondering if he should shoot Aron a text about where he is seated but decides against it. Instead he opts to keep glancing at the doors at the very back of the hall, waiting for Aron’s appearance.

Minhyun can’t help it when his heart skips a beat upon Aron’s arrival. Probably all the adrenaline from anticipation manifesting as weird heart symptoms. His hand shoots up to notify Aron of where he is seated.

Aron’s eyes light up. A smile graces his face.

Minhyun’s chest feels warm. It’s probably just the heater.

But Aron stops a few rows before he reaches Minhyun and moves to the far right. To join a friend...?

Minhyun squints.

Yup.

Another one of his Sigma Chi brothers. Yet again.

Minhyun turns around quickly, trying to hide his embarrassment but knows how his ears have given him away.

Minki was right.

He’s the idiot for assuming things would be different.

Aron catches him after class. He waits for Minhyun in his row instead of bolting out the door like every other person. Minhyun wonders if Aron would have tried to catch him if he had walked up the other side.

“Sorry,” he says, sheepish.

Minhyun is getting used to this and shrugs.

“Being that close to the front makes me nervous,” Aron says.

That’s probably not the only reason but Minhyun allows himself to buy the excuse anyway. Minhyun nods and falls into step with Aron as they walk out of the lecture hall.

“What did you think of the class?” Aron asks as if in hopes to break the silence.

“Interesting,” Minhyun replies. “There’s a lot of content. She’s trying hard to cater towards us but even in today’s lecture there seemed to be content that required some prior biology background.”

Aron seems to brighten at that. Throwing an arm around Minhyun to pull him closer. “I’m glad I have you. We can get through this together,” he says, sincere.

Minhyun can’t help but smile at that.

And so not all is lost.

Aron sits by that frat brother of his and laughs at whatever is being whispered into his ear in the moment. Minhyun does the same in the comfort of their apartment.

Well, not quite the same.

The notes from lecture and accompanying textbooks litter their table. Minhyun huddles close to Aron as Aron explains a certain concept. He’s pretty sure Aron’s explanation makes sense. Probably even better than the professor’s but he wasn’t paying attention. There’s always something to distract him. The inflection in Aron’s voice when he’s explaining something he’s interested in, the curl of Aron’s lips when Minhyun manages to stutter out an answer, and the look in Aron’s eyes when he’s particular proud of the way he teaches a topic.

The best one is when Aron laughs from the bottom of his heart — eyelashes prominent under the artificial light, eyes crinkling in the corners — when Minhyun decides to take a break from studying with a joke.

And at least they still share the half credit course to wrap up the Berlin/Istanbul trip. Christian flanks Aron on the left, Minhyun on his right. ( Even if Minhyun chats with Joshua more. ) Post class activities remain the same — late night snack as Aron drives them to the nearest fast food chain.

Ever since APO started capping how many hours studying can be counted as membership hours and that studying can only be counted with more than 5 APO members present, Minhyun and Aron find themselves studying less in the library and more in the comfort of their own apartment. Which is probably why Minhyun finds himself in this situation:

Aron is intensely concentrated as he annotates the text he reads, brows knitted as he highlights a passage with a swift stroke. Neon yellow is left behind in a strong, solid line. The kind that gives hints at how practiced the user is. The highlighter gripped in his hand, with each stroke corresponding to a muscle flex and a twitch of a tendon. Prominent veins pulled by the contractions.

Minhyun’s mouth grows dry.

Aron’s hair is still a bit damp from the shower. His fringe slightly clinging to his forehead. His glasses perch on his nose, threatening to slip off.

Minhyun has to throttle his inner voice to keep himself from reaching over and pushing it up.

( Because one thing will lead to another. Readjusting glasses will lead to brushing away the hair that falls into eyes. To questions poised in the most elegant raise of brows. And being unable to answer for himself without giving it all away. )

Gentle fingers settle on the top of his hand, snapping Minhyun back to the present.

“What’s distracting you?”

Those eyes are saturated by mirth with a touch of fondness. Minhyun swallows down his _you_.

“What I’d rather be doing than this,” pointing at his untouched textbook. “Like a new piece for the play,” Minhyun says, hoping Aron buys it.

Aron drops his highlighter to his desk and stretches with a yawn, leaning back far enough his chair rocks precariously on its two hind legs.

“I’m getting tired too,” Aron says with a wink. And then as if struck by something, he adds: “how about running lines with me?”

It’s a terrible idea. The newest play isn’t a student production. One of the theater department professors found some obscure play about a small neighborhood in the 60s. A perfect utopia at a glance centered around a happily married couple. As the play unfolds, the audience realizes they are steeped in misery for very different reasons. The marriage a cover up for the husband. The wife, the fiercely protective best friend.

Minhyun knows what lines Aron probably wants to run. Knows how cruel hope can be.

( He says yes anyway. )

“I wish I had the courage,” Aron says with one hand cupping Minhyun’s cheek. The thumb, broad strokes, for the audience to be aware of the act of affection. But it has nothing on the way Aron had said his line — soft and steeped in desire — or the way his eyes brim with love. “I want the world to know about a love as true as ours.”

( Minhyun has to remind himself that he is just Ong Seongwu’s stand in for this act. )

Minhyun is Tantalus: standing in a pool of water that rises to his chin and only a tip toe away from the most decadent fruits above.

Minhyun places his hand over Aron’s and holds it to his lips, the way he’s seen from the vantage of the sound box, allowing a fleeting kiss. “I can wait forever.”

“I won’t love you less or leave you.”

Aron smiles. “I know,” he says, “after all you moved into this neighborhood for me.”

( It gets increasingly harder to remind himself that these words are not for him. )

“I only ever wanted you to be safe,” Minhyun recites.

The scene breaks. Where a kiss and black out would be for a scene change, Aron brings it in for a hug, squeezing Minhyun tightly before giving him two pats on the shoulder.

“That was amazing!” Aron exclaims. “Maybe you should go for the role of an understudy.”

Minhyun only smiles. Trying to chase off the twinge in his chest as Aron proceeds to ask for ways to improve his role.

Volunteering doesn’t fall to the wayside. Not with Aron living with him. Despite his study load, two fraternities, constant involvement in theater productions, and job as a tutor, Aron always manages to find time to volunteer. Even if it is for the required APO hours. So surely Minhyun could do the same.

They sign up for the same shift hours for the local chocolate festival. All restaurants donate some chocolate themed food item. Volunteers raise funds by selling tickets to this chocolate themed buffet. The perks of spending one day of the weekend volunteering is the amount of leftover chocolates they can bring home.

Minhyun knows Aron doesn’t think too much of it when he takes a piece of chocolate and holds it out for Minhyun. But it also doesn’t stop his chest from filling with warmth on a cold February day when he notices it’s his favorite flavor.

Minhyun lets Aron feed him. Hoping one day it’ll seem to him an inconsequential habit.

And so the term unwinds at its fast pace as usual. Midterms arrive in the blink of the eye. Days are alternated between acts of service and trying not to be too obvious about staring during those study sessions. Except it is sometimes a struggle to remember how to catch your breath when Aron looks so proud after answering one of Minhyun’a flash cards right. Nothing a clearing of the throat can’t fix but it leaves Minhyun’s ears burning as he stumbles into asking the next question on the card.

“Come on,” Aron encourages, “just ten more.”

“You said that ten sets ago!” Minhyun protests as he does his sit up. Aron’s fingers are rough against his knee as he ensures Minhyun’s form is perfect.

“Did I?” Aron asks, eyes twinkling with mischief. “Must have picked it up from my trainer.”

“I’m going to kill him,” Minhyun grunts because Dongho must have picked it up from his trainer.

“I promise,” Aron says, holding out his pinky for Minhyun to link when he sits up again.

Minhyun growls, shakes on it, and unceremoniously flops back down onto his back.

Aron chuckles. It’s unfair how handsome someone can be after a workout. A simple black tank top with a matching cap on his head. A single white towel draped across his neck as if he ever had a need for it. Decorative for the most part, Minhyun rolls his eyes. The gym shorts end mid thigh. It’s quite a shame Aron isn’t sporting his usual SigChi bro tank for workouts: the tattoo on his rib well hidden for view.

Minhyun takes his time to gather himself to rise again. Aron gives his knees a gentle squeeze before running circles with his thumb. An encouragement probably. Except it makes Minhyun want to stay there forever and be subjected to such ministrations.

He probably looks like a mess. Bangs plastered to forehead. Skin growing red in splotches in reaction to the excess amount of sweat. Face flushed from exertion.

At least Aron is caring enough to dab Minhyun’s forehead with the identical towel draped behind Minhyun’s neck.

“Why did I let you talk me into this?” Minhyun grumbles as he sits up. Aron only chuckles as he hands Minhyun a cold bottle of water.

He knows why. With the semester hurtling towards the end, studying becomes a little more antsy. Not even practicing lines can help. After all, it’ll be over in two more performances. Only getting out of the house seems to help now.

“Because you love me,” Aron jokes.

Minhyun pretends to choke on his water.

Aron isn’t wrong.

Aron goes through with his news article for the project. He posts the photos he took on the trip on Facebook.

There’s an hour long Skype call where Minhyun’s mother coos to Aron about how talented he is. An eye for photography. What a promising young man. As Aron smiles sheepishly and humbly denies the praises.

Minhyun gets sidelined but the waste of Aron’s time is what worries him the most.

“Eomeoni, as always, it is a pleasure to talk to you,” Aron says as the call is about to end.

Minhyun’s mother giggles. “Aron-ah, don’t flatter me so. My heart can’t handle it.”

Minhyun rolls his eyes and mouths a _sorry_.

Aron shakes his head: _don’t worry about it_.

“I enjoy it,” Aron says with one of his characteristic laughs after the phone call ends, when Minhyun tries to apologize on behalf of his mother again.

As if their roles were reversed since last year, Aron attends the choir concert with a bouquets of flowers in his arms. There is no one else hanging off from him. A refreshing sight.

“That was amazing,” Aron congratulates Minhyun.

Minhyun is well aware of the smile that is splitting his face and the dust of pink in his cheeks. “Thank you,” he replies.

Aron hands him a bouquet and pulls him into a hug. It’s one formed from chocolates. The other bouquet scratches his arm.

Aron pulls away the moment he spots Ailee, thrusting the huge flower arrangement into her arms.

Minhyun looks down at the bouquet in his hand and wonders if it is a roommate privilege as Aron congratulates Dongho with a warm hug.

Every few years, the college choir goes abroad for their tour instead of their usual national stint during spring break. This year they are singing around Spain. Last time it was small coastal Italian towns.

The problem with trips like these is often the people you are with.

Minhyun made the poor decision of rooming with Dongho. Old roommates should be fine right?

Wrong.

Every night, Dongho Facetimes Jonghyun. Timezones are a nonexistent issue in their world. Break means Jonghyun can stay up all night for his games. Often multi tasking by calling Dongho and playing. Dongho is content watching.

It churns something in Minhyun’s stomach: seeing Dongho smiling at a blurry pixelated image of Jonghyun concentrating on his game play. It’s not a feeling Minhyun is particularly proud of.

The worst part is, being the kind people they are, they try to include Minhyun in the conversation. But Minhyun is aware that he’s just an extra.

Probably why he’s made himself scarce. Texted Joshua. And is now exploring Barcelona before their performance tonight.

Minhyun’s mind drifts to an ocean away as they explore Sagrada Familia, knowing how he would loved to have seen this and documented it all in that camera of his.

The last day in Barcelona, Minhyun creates his instagram account as Seongwoo cackles at his choice for a handle.

“Really? Optimushwang?”

Minhyun punches him on the shoulder for good measure. “How are we still friends with your dislike of Transformers?”

“I don’t dislike it. I just won’t waste time or money on those movies,” Seongwoo explains. “And I’m not the one who has a boner for Optimus Prime.”

_What’s with you and robot suits?_ Aron had once asked jokingly, pointing out the similarities between Optimus Prime and Iron Man.

Minhyun shoots Seongwoo a withering glare. “Do you think anyone will notice if you went missing?”

“You wouldn’t dare,” Seongwoo gasps dramatically, protecting his neck. “And yes I think the entire choir would notice if their sole photographer didn’t turn up to take flattering pictures of them.”

“How did you even get this position?” Minhyun asks, wanting to find a way to jab Seongwoo.

“By entering as many contests as possible to score a few wins and bulk up my resume,” Seongwoo replies cheekily. “You have to admit I take good photos.” Seongwoo points at a picture in Minhyun’s camera roll. Minhyun decides to upload that.

Not a minute has elapsed when when his phone buzzes from a notification.

_**nuestaron** liked your photo._

Seongwoo leans over and manages to catch the notification before it disappears. He elbows Minhyun.

“Shut up,” Minhyun warns as he cradled his phone, unable to lift his head because he knows how red it must be.

Every day Minhyun uploads a few pictures.

Without fail, Aron likes them within the span of a few minutes.

On the fifth day of the choir tour, Minhyun is texted a picture of his empty dining area table followed by a _I miss you_.

Minhyun slumps forward in an attempt to cool his burning forehead for the rest of the bus ride to their next Spanish city. Unable to say a single word when asked if he was okay.

He replies a little while later. A photograph of the scenic beauty of Barcelona taken at the serpent like balcony in Park Güell. It’s something Minhyun thought Aron would enjoy if he was with them.

It’s much harder to come up with an appropriate reply to Aron’s message. Minhyun writes and rewrites. Then accidentally presses send on _I wish you could see this_.

He drops the phone in horror. Scrambling to shut it off so that he won’t have to suffer whatever repercussions here may be.

Spring break is always an awkward time. One week doesn’t justify the hundreds spent on air travel. It never coincides with any of his high school friends’ breaks. Because of this weird trimester system, where they make the winter break longer to cope with harsh winter weathers, all other breaks suffer. The start of summer is pushed back a week. But two semesters without a break in between would be too grueling for any student. Which is why Aron always chooses to stay on campus. Pick up a few odd jobs and relax in between.

He’s never been at the apartment alone. At first he reveled in the lack of Minhyun. Skipping their usual clean up day to laze and watch a few shows. But eventually he gets tired of that too.

Their table looks lonely without the mess of notes and books. Shows feel a bit more boring without commentary and laughter. The floors look a little more dusty. The apartment feels a bit more spacious than normal.

Which is probably why Aron snaps a picture of their dining area table and sends it to Minhyun. While waiting for the reply, he digs out the vacuum cleaner and gets to work.

Minhyun continues to send Aron pictures of the places they visit, especially after Aron’s:

_:( I wish I was there too_

_send me pics!!_

Always some obscure angle by an untrained eye but Aron doesn’t complain.

There’s the exterior and cliffs of the Monsterio de Montserrat — the same ones that remind him of Istanbul for some odd reason, even if they look nothing alike. The dazzling colors of Parroquia del Sant Romá located in Lloret de Mar — a stunning coastal paradise. The awe inspiring hall of Basilica Castello d'Empuries that steals his breath away.

All of them sent to Aron. Minhyun’s accidental message still rings true.

The last leg of the tour is the homecoming concert. A week of performances have polished and refined their repertoire. A beautiful way to pay back the community by ending the tour where it began — back in their very own concert hall on campus.

Minhyun is quite pleased with his solo part. Dongho’s has always been solid but over the week of daily concerts, Minhyun’s has reached a state where he didn’t think was possible. And can’t help when he feels pride at the applause that resounds in the hall after his song.

He spots Aron in the crowd. It’s hard not to.

He’s wearing one of the sweaters Sujin has thrown into Minhyun’s closet while giving a standing ovation that inspires his neighboring rows to do the same.

Minhyun can’t fight the smile off his face.

After the concert ends, he almost bounds into Aron’s arms. Doesn’t care if there is no bouquet on hand. ( At least there isn’t a girl. ) Nothing matters once Aron says: “welcome back.” And “let’s go out to eat. My treat.”

Minhyun doesn’t even feel bitter when Aron rounds up the rest of Nu’est for a family and congratulatory dinner.

Minhyun has almost become an expert at juggling school work, APO, theater, and choir. Getting jazz piano lessons to count towards his degree has improved things tremendously. Choir tour being over always eases the load. Other things do not get forgotten: study sessions, jazz nights, school hosted activities, and non school sponsored ones.

Theater after parties are frat parties on steroids. Probably why Minhyun has always gone to every one ( due to pressure from his favorite peers ) but left as soon as everyone was to drunk to notice his disappearance. Except this time he was dragged into a game of truth or dare with shots at stake.

Many of them pre-game even before they arrived. A loose tongue and lack of inhibition makes for an exciting game.

Minhyun shoulders most of Aron’s body weight. Aron is almost wasted at this point. Which is probably why when someone asks him about the most embarrassing thing he’s ever done when drunk, Aron narrates: “make out with Joel.”

There are hoots from different corners of the room.

“Oh, don’t pretend you didn’t like it,” someone calls out. Minhyun keeps forgetting how pervasive Sigma Chi’s brotherhood runs.

He can’t quite tell if it’s the flush from the alcohol or if the sentence rings true — Aron’s cheeks are red. The tip of his ears tinged too.

“Yeah as if you weren’t into each other at one point,” another hollers.

If Minhyun stiffens, Aron is too drunk to notice it.

“A mistake~” Aron whines, “we realized we were better off as friends.”

“Sure _daddy_~” someone snickers. Aron reddens. Minhyun’s blood runs cold.

Thankfully, they get tired of picking on Aron and move on. Minhyun chooses truth as reflex and downs the shot without even processing the question.

A year ago, Minhyun would have dropped Aron to the floor and stormed out. Didn’t matter if Aron was inebriated and would likely be concussed. Nothing would have mattered except his vow to himself about heart break and straight boys ( or not so straight boys — heart break still stands ).

But that was before joining a cult, being introduced to the combination of his life’s passion with the performing arts, and becoming the apartment mate of the man he is now holding up. Aron is no longer a construct. No longer a stand in for what Minhyun’s fantasy significant other would be like.

Aron is Aron.

No matter what Aron can or cannot offer has no bearing on what he means to Minhyun. Aron is a cherished friend. A decent apartment mate. He is a living and breathing human. Someone, like Minhyun, struggling to find their place in the world. With a heart bigger than anyone he knows. A steadfastness that others look up to and are reassured by. A charisma that draws people in but never uses it. Instead, it is the quiet guidance people find reliable and thus stay around for. Always equipped with a joke up his sleeve to diffuse a situation or ease the tension.

At the end of the day, Aron is Aron.

So Minhyun holds Aron a little tighter. A little closer. Keeping him steady on his feet. Praying that one day this pain will subside.

Flunk Day season dawns upon them soon enough. Thankfully, they are far enough from campus to not get waken by the scares each morning. But Aron wakes up each day at 6AM and checks his emails for the announcement. Finding none, he promptly crawls back into bed before rising for his morning class.

During one of the weekends, Minhyun makes them mud proof their apartment. Laying out plastic to create a path from the door to the shower. Plastering a bit to the wall in case mud prints make their way there due to imbalance.

Aron jokes it is because Minhyun is traumatized from last year. Minhyun retorts that it is to save their deposit.

When Flunk Day does come around, Aron disappears soon after he reads the email. Minhyun doesn’t see him again until after breakfast — flushed with alcohol. It only becomes more apparent from the way Aron throws himself at Minhyun, keeping an arm around his shoulders, leaning far too close for sober Aron to handle, with a mix of fruit and alcohol that clings to his breath. Minhyun gives Aron’s arm a gentle pat and doesn’t bother to shake him off.

He lets himself be dragged on Aron’s drunken whims. Partaking in activities he normally wouldn’t ( except for the mud pit. Fuck the mud pit ). And helps Aron home midday to shower.

Aron crashes not long after. But not before whining about some music video release that Minhyun dutifully pulls out his laptop for.

Minhyun cards his fingers through Aron’s hair, smiling at how silky it feels. Aron falls fast asleep. Minki’s words come to mind.

_Why do you want to enter a relationship?  
And what do you want out of one?_

Minhyun looks down at the slumbering profile of Aron. Hands continuing their motions to not disturb Aron’s sleep. The air conditioner whirring in the background at full power to fight off the oppressive heat of May.

It’s not earth shattering to realize, but it still takes him by surprise as he cautiously traces a finger around the shell of Aron’s ear, that in this moment he is happy.

Minki is right about society’s obsession with romance. Media’s onslaught of throwing two characters together, culminating in a kiss despite the lack of substance, and slapping a happily ever after sticker when the credits roll. Maybe because it is profitable. Everyone wants a quick fix these days. Companies make money by reducing love issues down to fixing appearances or wearing the right clothing. That there is something inherently wrong with you if you don’t date by age X and have sex at age Y. But no worries! Our hundred dollar products will immediately attract someone for you! And maybe it works for a while.

Facades wear and tear. By the end of it, the person you thought you loved is unrecognizable — not because they’ve changed but because you’ve never gotten to know them in the first place.

Minhyun has fallen into the same trap. Hoping for a taste of romance when he reached high school. Despite being bitter and cynical when entering college, subconsciously he still held on. And this is the price of that.

Minhyun doesn’t crave for physical intimacy. There are apps these days catered towards lust. Sure he wanted a hand to hold, maybe someone to kiss but he really just wanted a taste of what songs sang about and what novels depicted. If it really was as great as they claimed it to be.

And Aron fit the bill. A handsome guy with a sense of humor and a great personality. With gestures that can be construed as romantic. All the components necessary for that initial spark — setting off Minhyun’s imagination — creating a persona for Aron.

But this is no longer a crush. Hasn’t been for a long time.

It doesn’t matter if they enter into a relationship or not. He just never wants to stop learning about Aron. Wants to see the bad days and the good days. The little things that make his brows furrow or his lips curl into a smile. Minhyun doesn’t have to be high up on Aron’s list of people to contact for news. He’s content with what they have and wants it to last for as long as it can.

Minhyun runs his fingers through Aron’s hair again. Unable to fight the smile that makes it way on his face.

Minhyun likes Aron. It’s as simple as that.

No conditions. Nothing to be negotiated. No need for reciprocation. Just a fact of life. Aron’s happiness equates to his own.

It may sound pathetic but this is the happiest he’s been with himself for a while.

Minhyun likes Aron for who he is. Not for something he believes Aron to be. Including all the flaws and the good traits because these are the things that make up the Aron Kwak he has fallen in love with.

There’s a sort of freedom that only comes with accepting things as they are. A sense of liberation once hope is no longer there to tantalize you. Minhyun flirts with it. He throws his head back and laughs from the bottom of his heart when Aron fingers, coated with glow in the dark paint, draws whisker like streaks across his cheeks. He lets the music dictate his body’s movements. Allows the crowd of people to push him up against Aron, far past the boundaries that would have normally froze him in his tracks.

The atmosphere of the closing party of Flunk Day is infectious. Last chance to throw caution to the wind. Minhyun’s eyes sweep across Aron’s bottom lip.

He looks up.

The only thing he can see in Aron’s eyes are the neon green and orange streaks painted on his own face. Minhyun can’t help but laugh.

Hwang Minhyun in a black light party on the lawn. None of his high school friends would believe him. And yet here he is: filled with some inexplicable joy as Aron tries to teach him a new dance move.

“Your knees,” says Aron, one part aggravated and two parts fond, “don’t forget you have knee joints.”

Minhyun does the worst possible version of bees knees on purpose. Eyes turning into crescents from how wide he smiles when Aron bursts into a fit of laughter.

“You’re impossible,” Aron says, head falling forward onto Minhyun’s shoulder because of how closely the crowd is packed under the tents.

Minhyun’s chest blossoms with warmth. This feeling has many names. But for now he calls it happiness.

Aron’s birthday falls on a weekday. Instead of his usual cross faded celebration, he invites Minhyun out for a movie. Wraps up the day with dinner at a local restaurant.

He makes up for it during the following weekend.

Minhyun tries a hand at making hangover soup, knowing well that Aron would either be suffering from a massive headache or still be drunk from the copious amounts of alcohol. It’s probably not very good. Aron makes quick work of it with a barely suppressed grimace. Even hungover, Aron is a polite soul that thanks Minhyun and finishes it all without a single drop left behind.

They venture to Baked afterwards. There is no cure like artisan pizza.

“Do you know Youngmin?” Minki asks as he stirs the smoothie into slush.

The name’s familiar. It takes Minki’s “you know, from SigChi?” to jog Minhyun’s memory.

He’s unimpressionable. Attractive features but a quiet demeanor that Minhyun has only encountered once or twice back when study sessions where still held in the main library. He sees Youngmin from time to time. Outside the choir room, always waiting for Sewoon — one of the main contenders for solo parts.

Minhyun nods as he pops a fry into his mouth. “What about him?”

“He needs a plus one for the SigChi Formal and I recommended you.”

It’s a blessing that Minhyun had finished chewing and wasn’t drinking anything, otherwise he would have choked.

“You what?”

Minki raises his arms as if in defense. “The person he was going to ask out is going to another Formal on that day. Besides,” Minki insists, “I saw the way you were having fun on Flunk Day and the snaps from the theater troupe after party.” He interlaces his hands together, setting his chin atop of them. “Don’t tell me it isn’t your scene Minhyun.”

While Minhyun struggles to come up with a retort, Minki says: “I would appreciate your presence. We could have fun together.” Topping it off by batting his lashes.

Minhyun guffaws. And then lamely: “you’re going?” As if he wasn’t aware that Minki has a horde of suitors trying to seduce him by inviting him to exclusive end of the year parties. _It’s their decision to invite me. I don’t owe them anything_, Minki had said when he illustrated last year’s disaster. 

Minki gives Minhyun a pointed look.

“Aron will be there, Joel,” Minki lists as Minhyun’s stomach twists, “Jason, Christian, _me_.”

“Or you could frame it as a social experiment. Check out another culty thing to judge,” Minki persuades.

“I’ll think about it,” Minhyun relents. A night out with Minki doesn’t sound too bad. Besides, maybe he’ll finally understand what the buzz is all about with Greek life Formals.

Sewoon looks surprised when Youngmin merely nods at him, instead of falling into step with him and chatting as they go grab dinner. But Sewoon moves on.

Youngmin leans against the wall as he waits for Minhyun to emerge from the choir room. 

“Hey,” Minhyun greets, glancing between Youngmin and Sewoon.

“Hey,” Youngmin echoes. But his eyes drift to where Sewoon is speaking animatedly with a girl.

Minhyun gestures with his head to walk and talk. Mostly in hopes to alleviate this awkwardness between acquaintances and to speak out of ear shot of anyone.

“Minki already informed me,” Minhyun says, wanting to make Youngmin more comfortable but then winces at how he probably sounds.

“Ah,” Youngmin exhales before pausing to say: “will you come to Formal with me?”

Minhyun stills and studies Youngmin.

“Are you sure you want to go with me?” he asks, thinking of the encounter near the choir room. “I don’t drink, barely able to dance, and given the opportunity — probably talk your ear off.”

Youngmin cracks a smile at that.

“Now that you’ve said all this, I’m pretty sure I want you as my plus one.”

It’s sounds genuine. Minhyun can’t help but return Youngmin’s smile.

Youngmin gestures in the direction of the cafeteria. “How about let’s grab dinner and then you can decide afterwards.”

Minhyun fakes a dramatic gasp. “Is this a trial run?”

Youngmin’s smile is a beautiful display of teeth that belongs on a dental ad. A laugh so deep and hearty Minhyun almost regrets not making a friend of him earlier.

First impressions are important. But they hardly matter afterwards.

Minhyun is constantly blessed by Minki’s network. This is no exception.

Despite his cool and reserved impression, Youngmin laughs easily. A face that reflects emotions honestly when at ease. The ease comes much faster when they realize they share the same hometown.

In the midst of all this excitement, Minhyun may have forgotten to inform Aron of his attendance at SigChi’s Formal. Aron had taken up door duty as one of the execs, welcoming all his brothers and their dates with enthusiasm. The entire restaurant has been rearranged and decorated just for this event. Minhyun doesn’t feel out of place even with his baby blue bow tie that matches Youngmin’s and the white flower that sits where a pocket square should’ve been.

“Minhyun,” Aron starts, tone full of surprise, “what are you doing here?”

Youngmin steps in during that moment, arm securely wrapped around Minhyun’s waist in the sort of swiftness and strength Minhyun has began to associate with Im Youngmin. “He’s with me,” Youngmin states with a cordial smile.

“Of course,” Aron nods and steps aside. He looks startled. Minhyun makes note of it but moves on in step with Youngmin.

It’s simple really: a fancy dinner followed by dancing. It’s basically reliving prom in a sense. Except someone makes a mean rum punch that dangerously doesn’t taste alcoholic. The effect takes place during the slow dance when Minhyun dances like his only mission is to destroy Youngmin’s feet.

It’s hilarious. Both of them are nearly doubled over from tears due to laughing, clutching each other for support.

Minki rolls his eyes and butts in. Minhyun wails Youngmin’s name just to see that crinkle of eyes and flash of teeth. What he doesn’t expect is the way Aron’s head turns in response to the name.

Could it be...?

Maybe Minhyun had a few drinks too many, Minki mutters as he tries to go find Minhyun some water. Minhyun decides to test his theory out.

Aron is by the table of food and drinks. His date no where to be found. Minhyun smiles, Cheshire, as he leans in to whine into Aron’s ear: _Youngminie-hyung_.

The red that appears on Aron’s face must be a trick of light. But it still sends Minhyun’s heart into a frenzy.

“You’re drunk,” Aron states.

Minhyun’s lower lip juts out. “You’re not,” he counters by grabbing two glasses of punch and holds one out for Aron.

Maybe it’s a glower. It’s hard to tell. Aron downs his and then quickly grabs Minhyun’s before Minhyun can take a sip.

Aron sets both empty glasses on the table.

Minki arrives just in time with the glass of water, ordering Minhyun to drink and sober up.

Aron wonders how Minhyun doesn’t resent him as he supports Minhyun into their apartment with Youngmin’s help. How many times has Minhyun dealt with Aron’s drunk ass? It’s a miracle Minhyun has stayed as his roommate for this long.

“Take care of him,” Youngmin says with a heavy look as soon as they haul Minhyun into his bed.

Aron tries not to frown. That should be his line. Instead he fixes his face into a smile to ease the tension: “I will.”

Youngmin’s name still tumbles from Minhyun’s drunken lips long after he’s gone. Aron can’t help but wonder when they had grown so close.

After cleaning up, he decides to check on Minhyun. Aron notices an untucked corner and worried about Minhyun catching a cold, he tucks him in.

Minhyun’s face is red. Eyes a bit distant as if he’s already slipping into the realm of dreams. Just before Aron turns to leave, Minhyun swipes at Aron’s glasses, parts his lips, and says: “Kwak Youngminie hyung.” It holds Aron in place.

Heat tinges his cheeks the way alcohol would. Only his parents use his full name when he’s in trouble. But he doesn’t hate it. Not the way it rolls off Minhyun’s tongue like a child learning a word for the first time.

Aron smiles.

“Good night,” Aron whispers quietly at a Minhyun who has finally settled and drifted off.

Big decisions are often made after small things. Aron makes two of them.

The first, to return an old favor: cooking some hangover soup for Minhyun to reheat when it hits tomorrow morning. The second requires a bit more of an elaborate plan to convey how important it is to Aron.

Minhyun knows that Aron is fond of grandiose gestures. The reason behind them a little more obscure. Which is why Minhyun is puzzled when Aron takes him out to dinner after Runathon ends. It is at their small town’s finest restaurant — the one with a single rose and candle adorning each table. Where their appetizer, peasant bread and roasted garlic, costs approximately the same price as their cheapest main dish. Where the wine list is the most expensive one in town.

Around Minhyun are couples. The occasional family gathering. A proposal a few tables down.

Minhyun knows it is for none of those reasons and fears it is for the worst.

Aron flashes Minhyun a sheepish smile.

Anxious, Minhyun avoids the look by glancing at the menu before him.

He can’t avoid Aron forever.

Minhyun makes eye contact after they order.

“So,” Aron begins as Minhyun begins to worry. He was right about Dongho. How cruel would it be to be right about this too? Especially in this sort of setting. But it seems like Aron to break it softly. Let him down gently. Soften the blow.

“If you would have me, I was hoping we could be roommates again for next year.”

Come again?

Minhyun must have had a dumb expression on his face because Aron chuckles and says: “I didn’t mean to make it this formal but I didn’t know how to go about asking you.” And then more sheepishly: “you were the one who asked me last year.”

“I guess I wanted to show my sincerity,” Aron finishes with a gesture at the appetizers he ordered.

It’s fascinating how a charismatic, confident man like Aron could be so uncertain when it came to things like this. It wasn’t uncharacteristic. It’s just that vulnerability makes someone so human — a sharp contrast if you’ve built a pedestal for them to stand upon.

It’s endearing to Minhyun.

He had assumed they would continue the arrangement. But Minhyun decides to tease Aron anyway.

Minhyun rests his elbow on the table and props his chin up on one hand. “You do know that housing lottery was months ago, right?”

His lips curling into a grin as he watches Aron torn between panic and the need to affirm Minhyun’s decision. Aron settles for gulping some water and a soft “did you...?”

Minhyun laughs.

He can see the way tension seeps from Aron’s shoulders before Aron realizes that the laugh is not a clear answer.

Minhyun shakes his head. “You’re lucky I was waiting for you to ask.”

Relief is instantaneous for Aron.

Minhyun can’t help but smile.

Roommate situations are often tricky. Minhyun is just glad their feelings are mutual on this front.

Aron raises his glass of water. “To another year of living together.”

Minhyun raises his and clinks it against Aron’s. “To another year of living together,” he echoes.

“Thanks for putting up with me,” Aron says after sipping the water and placing the glass down.

Minhyun can’t help but be happy at the scene before him. And how easily they slip into a routine banter.

“That’s my line,” he quips.

Some things in life are too precious to give up on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about shoving my [woncheol agenda](https://www.instagram.com/p/BwEQisSDgAH/) here but yeah.
> 
> aron's airport fashion is inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/Memoria_RON/status/1201064674885681152). christmas market is inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/nue5t_instagram/status/1202879785053016064?s=21). also i am freaking devastated [bro](https://twitter.com/minronsave/status/1202524937807745025?s=20).
> 
> i guess [this](https://youtu.be/kuK7ssALI_4?t=110) is important too. and [this](https://twitter.com/kwakvideo/status/1208374789372407813?s=21) sent me to hell.
> 
> a few notes about personal philosophies interjected into minki & minhyun's views towards romance are inspired by:
> 
>   * mark manson's everything is f*cked: a book about hope
>   * daniel sloss' "jigsaw" ( watch on netflix )
>   * [trevor noah](https://youtu.be/GqD0rhajhr0?t=44)'s view on romantic relationships


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